That jokes
Q: What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
A: Carlos.
Why did Jesus come back from the dead? He forgot to tell you that you're gay!
New study reveals that women slightly overweight live longer... than the men who mention it.
A man was raping a woman and thought the year was 1970, and he exclaimed to the judge later that he was her husband.
She got sent to the Asylum for Hysteria.
Wait, what? Was he actually her husband?
He was a Christian, so that actually meant he was AFTER the rape.
Wait, what? The Bible doesn't say that.
Actually yes, it does, and marital rape was legal until 1990.
WAIT WHAT? That's not funny.
I'll tell ya what's funny, that you think the women have nothing to complain about.
You wanna hear a suicide joke? Nvm, it didn't make it.
What do you call an Asian that steals cars? Tommy toke a motor.
When I self-harmed one day, my mother told me that it cut her deep. We both found that very amusing.
If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?
I saw my sister masturbating with a carrot. I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like carrots!"
Hey, do you remember that dragon thing?
Draggin' these balls across your face.
Me: Okay, Papyrus. I'm no Sherlock Bones, but I'd say that Storyspin Sans is the Imposter.
Did you know that Americans fall out of both sides of the bed?
What was the knight's name that sat at the round table?
Circumference.
Why do you call a man that is physically handicapped and German?
A physically handicapped bisexual man that is promiscuous and German.
The doctor says, "Your wife is pregnant." The man says that he used a condom and the doctor says, "Yeah, but I didn't."
That camping trip was in-tents.
Why do orphans like to play tennis?
Because that’s the only love they will get.
What do you call a guy with a big dick that likes to eat fish?
Long John Silvers or Captain D's.
What's the one thing that you don't have but celebrities do?
Lots of fans.
There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.
She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."
Son said, "But I can't see."
Mom said, "That's the point."