That jokes
Why do orphans play baseball?
That’s the only way they can run to home.
If Jesus told you to trust everyone, that must be why there are a lot of kidnappings.
Yo mama so fat that when he was talking to a man, her bowels fell out.
Why the actual f
is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not and no one will know the goddam difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, “It’s too offensive,” or something like that. Goddam, just take that shit somewhere else!
That's a knee slapper, or should I say, a wheel slapper?
The man was absolutely delighted to find that every lamp in his house was stolen.
I had bullies behind me on the street, but they were too fat and slow, so they got ran over by a truck that represents fat and slow.
"Hey, today was great!"
"What happened?"
"I ran into my ex today."
"What's so great about that?"
"I was in my car!"
I’m rather relaxed about death.
From quite an early age, I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.
I'm not lazy, I'm just bone tired. I bet that one tickled your funny bone. It sure got me rattled. Don't try to stop me. I've got a skele-ton of these!
Little Johnny's mom is taking a shower. Little Johnny walks in and asks, "What is that in between your legs?" Mommy says, "That is my keyhole." The next day, Little Johnny sees his dad taking a shower and Little Johnny asks, "What is that in between your legs?" Daddy says, "That is my key." The next day Little Johnny says to his dad, "Looks like the neighbor has the key to Mommy's keyhole too."
Being gay is the most masculine thing that is possible because only men can be gay.
One day, a skeleton wasn't laughing. Someone asked him why he was not laughing. It turns out he fell and broke his bone, his funny bone that is.
My [blank] is long and yellow that can't swim.
A school bus full of children.
I just read in the news that tons of Americans are sending their old clothes to poor people in Africa.
Seems like a waste of time in my opinion. I've never seen an African with a 52 inch waist.
What do you call a dog that tells the time?
A watchdog.
What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
A can’t opener!
Did you hear about the car that turned into a wheelchair?
Yo mama so fat that you need a jack stand to get her up.
What’s one thing that a gay person is scared of?
A gay guy that’s straight!