That jokes

Car

A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?"

The little boy says, "That’s my little red race car."

Ten minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?"

The little girl says, "That’s my little red race car garage."

So later that night, the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She said yes, and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won’t fit.

Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?"

The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit, so I cut the back wheels off."

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  • Marriage

    A man and a woman get married. The woman was a retired hooker. The man was a poet.

    The man said as they did 69, "You taste better than my most delicious gourmet meal." The woman said, "Well, you aren’t too bad either, but the best 69 I’ve gotten and given was Harry. He did it for 24 hours nonstop." They got divorced that night.

    Indian

    What do you call Indian dhal that is delicious?

    Well, that is DHALicious!

    Math class

    Imagine this: You're at math class. The teacher asks you, "What's 11 * 11?" You say, "120." The teacher says, "Wrong!" You say, "How off was I?" The teacher says, "1."

    Me rn: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHERES THE RAGE TABLE or something like that.

    Redneck

    What is a redneck virgin?

    Answer: A seven-year-old that can run faster than her brothers!

    Book

    I went to a book store yesterday and I saw a book that said "how to solve 50% of your problems." So I bought 2.

    Tit

    I have no dad, no milk, and no mom, so that means no tits, like if you can relate.

    Ex

    "Hey, today was great!"

    "What happened?"

    "I ran into my ex today."

    "What's so great about that?"

    "I was in my car!"

    Adolf Hitler

    It's just been discovered that as well as writing a book, Adolf Hitler also wrote one of the first computer games, "Mein Kraft."

    Woman

    What can you tell a woman with two black eyes?

    Nothing that you haven't told her twice already.

    Orphan

    What's an orphan's favorite toy?

    A boomerang because it's the only thing that comes back.

    Morning

    GOOD MORNING USA!!!! I GOT A FEELING THAT IVE SEEN A FUCKIN NlGGER TODAY!!!

    Weight

    You are so fat that the last time you stepped on the weighing scale, the doctor said, "I want your weight and not [your] phone number."

    Game Night

    Did you know that if you die you can still be a part of family game night!

    All you have to do is have your family cremate you and put you in an hour glass, and the games that use hour glasses, well, you will be a part of family game night.

    Dream

    Have you ever heard of a dream that that that that the universe was a fake machine?

    Orphan

    The difference between an apple and an orphan is that the apple gets picked.