That jokes

*School Shooter Walks In*

That one kid who plays "Pumped Up Kicks" at max volume.

What do you call a priest that likes juice?

A Capriest Sun.

Yo hairline is so far back that it was there before the Big Bang happened.

Yo mama so fat that she's social distancing from herself.

Your mom is so fat that when she went to the dentist, the man said, "One at a time."

The companies that made the hand gel sanitizer must be absolutely rubbing their hands together!

What does a website have that an orphan doesn't? A home.

Your forehead is so big that your mom stayed in the delivery room just to give birth to your head.

At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, "That's the fourth time you've gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn't it embarrass you?"

"Why should it?" answered her spouse. "I keep telling them it's for you."

What's that Pokemon that evolves into macargo?

Slugma.

Slugma dick.

Why is it that orphans love Frisbees so much?

Because they return eventually.

Your hairline is so far back that even my dad wasn't fetching the milk back then.

I photo bombed someone's selfie, and then they yelled, "Why would you do that? I was trying to take a family photo!"

What do you call a door that bells? A doorbell.

A special quote: “I was gonna slap that girl into tomorrow!”

You're so poor that you can't pay for a public school.

Why is Newton not allowed to visit local farms?

The owners know that forces come in pears.

Your mom is so stupid that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

A penis has a sad life.

His hair is a mess. His family is nuts. His neighbor is an asshole. His best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him. That's it for now.

Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"

Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*