That jokes

A puma was making another puma laugh. That puma that was laughing said, “Stop making me laugh! I’m gonna puma pants!”

What did one skeleton say to the other?

Skeleton 1: "I need a hand!"

Skeleton 2: (Throws up hand)

Skeleton 1: "That wasn't very humerus."

Skeleton 2: "Why do you have to be so heartless?"

Skeleton 1: "At least I had the guts to tell you!"

Oh Sans, you're such a bonehead! Sorry if that joke was jaw-breaking! LOL.

If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?

What do you call a Mexican that has lost his car?

Carlos!

Hey, you know those birds and lizards that feast on decaying flesh?

Oh, sorry, I shouldn't carrion about it.

If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?

I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher.

They said: you can't be a "pro-grammer nazi."

Q: What do you call a chip that goes fast?

A: A rocket chip.

Women be like, "Don't say that about her genitals," then makes fun of men's genitals.

Women be like, "Equal rights, equal pay," then decide that they don't want to do labor intensive jobs.

Yo mama so fat, that when she fell I didn’t laugh, but damn that sidewalk cracked up. 👋

Roses are red.

Your passports are blue.

Now go stand over there,

In that very long queue!

Why don't churches have WiFi?

They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.

The Statue of Liberty is French; she ain't even American. Deport that bitch!

You go up to a bar and say, "Hi." He doesn’t look at you. You keep saying, "Hi." He says, "What?" Then you realize that he is the one that you stole his lady from, but then he doesn’t give you any drink. You say, "Why?" He screams at you and then says, "YOU'RE FIVE!"

What do you call an orphan that takes a selfie?

A family portrait.

Yo mama is so strict that Thanos couldn't collect the Infinity Stones until he had done his homework.

I asked an orphan where his mom was. He started crying, so I said it again.

And well, that was my last day at the orphanage.

What do you call a cat that walks slowly?

CATerpillar