That jokes
Yo mama is so dumb that she went to the eye doctor just to buy an iPhone.
You are so intelligent that parents come running to beg you to be their child!
My husband asked me to get 6 cans of Sprite at the store. I realized when I got home that I had picked 7-Up.
What do you call a mom that can’t draw? Tracy.
What's the last thing Asians hear from their parents?
"My money is my money. Your money is my money. Your wife's money is my money. Always remember that, son."
Memes
Your hairline is so far back that even Hitler wouldn't shoot it.
What do you call a band made of cheese?
Grate That!
Why didn’t the turkey cross the road?
To prove that he was not chicken.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Robin.
Robin who?
Robin you, that is who.
I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher.
They said: you can't be a "pro-grammer nazi."
A puma was making another puma laugh. That puma that was laughing said, “Stop making me laugh! I’m gonna puma pants!”
Did you hear about the Boston marathon? 'Cause, well, I heard it was a blast and that it blew everyone away!
What did the Ford Mustang say to the crowd of innocent people?
I'D HIT THAT!
The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.
Father: Son, you can do butter!
Person: You suck!
Me: Tell that to your mom, and she’ll say the same thing, honey. 😎
Did you hear about the man that got fired from his can job? It was soda-pressing.
What did one skeleton say to the other?
Skeleton 1: "I need a hand!"
Skeleton 2: (Throws up hand)
Skeleton 1: "That wasn't very humerus."
Skeleton 2: "Why do you have to be so heartless?"
Skeleton 1: "At least I had the guts to tell you!"
What do you call a Mexican that has lost his car?
Carlos!
Did you hear about the guy that was cutting off people's feet and taking them?
It took my sole.
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
An irrel-elephant ;)