That jokes

Yo mama so poor that when she went to KFC, she had to lick other people's fingers.

Guys, the person that said "suck a dick" was Mase. His real name is Mason, so ya.

Boy goes to Confession.

Boy: "What are you doing, Father?"

Priest: "It's called masturbation, and soon you will be doing it."

Boy: "Why do you say that, Father?"

Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired!"

-not my joke

My wife is mad that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and went right.

My husband asked me to get 6 cans of Sprite at the store. I realized when I got home that I had picked 7-Up.

What do you call a mom that can’t draw? Tracy.

I told my friends that are gay that my hairline's straighter than he will ever be.

Have you been to that paraplegic strip club? It's crawling with pussy!

Your hairline is so far back that even Hitler wouldn't shoot it.

What is the world's strongest material?

The tree that Paul Walker hit.

Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.

You're so poor that when you walked into an elevator, you thought it was a mobile home.

I lit a retirement home on fire so that all the seniors can be cremated for free.

So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.

The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."

You’re so fat that when you sit on the toilet, it says, “A B C D E F G, get your butt off of me!”

Me: Hey Siri, did you know Candice died?

Siri: Yes, I was informed she died from sugondese.

Me: What is that?

Siri: Sugondese nuts.

A woman is lying in bed after making love to her lover. After a moment, she starts to roll over, and in the process, she realizes that the spent condom is still inside her.

Worried, she wakes up her lover. She asks, “What should we do about this?” To which he replies: “Who was it?”

What's the last thing Asians hear from their parents?

"My money is my money. Your money is my money. Your wife's money is my money. Always remember that, son."

What do you call an orphan that grows up to be a priest?

Father-less.

Did you know that the letter "f" in "orphan" stands for family?