That jokes

Today, there was a big test for Little Timmy. During the test, Timmy had to take a really huge shit. So, he rushed to the bathroom. He took a while in there.

When he was done, he realized there was no more toilet paper left. Since there was nothing around him to use, the only thing he could do was wipe with his hand. His time in the bathroom was up, and he needed to finish that test! He didn’t have time to wash his hands. So, he hurried back. The problem was, the hand he wiped with was his right hand. He used his left hand to complete the test, which made him fail. When he got home, his mother was standing there crossing her arms. “Timmy, the teacher had called and said you wrote sloppy on your test. Why is that?” Timmy replied, “Oh, it’s because I caught a leprechaun with my right hand, but if I opened it, my classmates would scare him away, so I had to use my left.” Timmy’s mother glared at him with disbelief. “Timmy, I don’t believe you. Now open your hand!” Timmy did so and opened his hand. “See, mother? I said you’d scare the shit out of him!”

I hope ya'll that have depression kys; you are worthless trash.

Just kidding.

Adam and Eve are going through the garden when Adam suddenly says, "What race are we?"

Eve responds with, "Ask God, he will tell you." So Adam goes over to a hill and asks, "God, what race are we?"

God says, "You are what you are."

Adam goes back to Eve and says, "We are white." Eve asks how he knew that. Adam responds with, "If we were black, he would have said 'you is what you is'."

Men should provide their disobedient daughters with their own "milk" instead of letting them use the mother. That will teach those bitches some respect for men. It may even help them get laid later on in life.

I’d make a rape joke, but I don't wanna force that on you too.

"Officer, I drop kicked that child in self-defense." -Techno

What did the Japanese man say to his friend after he killed somebody?

"That is very Wong."

What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that lives with the royal family?

Rolls Royce.

An Ob-Gyn asks a lady to put her feet up on the stirrups.

Doctor: My God, you have the biggest vagina I’ve ever seen!

Woman: You don’t have to say that twice.

Doctor: I didn’t.

I’ve just discovered that cock fighting is done with chickens.

12 months of training completely wasted.

Somebody told me that black slang is just white slang in reverse. For example:

White person: Dad, you're home!

Black person: Dad?

White person: You can keep the change.

Black person: Empty the register.

What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?

A can't opener.

I wish death was in the form of a woman.

That way, it would never come for me.

What did the Twin Towers say to each other?

Sorry if that offended anyone.

“I guess we are going down together!”

Yo mama so short that when she tried to sniff meth, she couldn’t get high.

If James Bond is the most famous spy, wouldn't that also make him the worst spy?

Yo mama so fat that State Farm tried to get on her side but couldn’t.

Yo mama so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked her to move out the way.

Anyone want to eat me up? I'm in that kind of mood right now.

As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."