That jokes

Yo mama so fat that when she tried to get on the train, it said, "Weight limit passed, everyone get off!"

Ironic that this page is dead.

When your teenager asks for personal space and you remind her that she came out of your personal space.

The snack that smiles back: Ball sack.

Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?

It had excellent mussel memory.

Chuck Norris' dick is so big that it has its own dick. And his dick's dick is still bigger than Bruce Lee.

Did you know that former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.

Did you hear about that Muslim party?

It was a blast!

Tell your teacher this: "I passed a test that took 60 minutes. It wasn't your work, it wasn't my work, it was hour work!"

What do you call an orphan that grows to be a priest?

Fatherless.

What do you call a fudge packer who has special needs?

A gay black male that has Down Syndrome.

What do you call a bowling ball that falls from the sky and knocks down all the bowling pins?

An airstrike.

Have you ever thought about the fact that every market in Africa is a black market?

You are so scary that even your hairline ran away.

Canada being the most educated country in the world is bemusing, considering that Canadians cannot spell "legalise" and "programme" correctly.

Oh, and most of them do not realise that it's day-month-year, NOT month-day-year.

Yo mama so ugly, that when Santa came down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho- HOLY SHIT!"

Came across the headline this morning whilst reading the paper...

"Woman beats off Rapist in carpark!"

I suppose that was a fair compromise!

Farrah Fawcett, upon arriving at the pearly gates, God asked her, for having led such an honest life, to grant her one wish. Farrah simply requested that the children of the world would be safe.

Five hours later, Michael Jackson died.

What is an orphan's favorite toy?

Answer: A boomerang, because it is the only thing that comes back to them.

One day in Roblox, someone was arguing with me, and they asked me my age. "18." They said that they were twenty-two.

Me: "If you're so smart, what's the largest daycare game on Roblox?"

Him: "Yo Hair," he said. Then he left the game, and I said, "That is so messed up. Actually, that's bullcrap."