That jokes

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Dooris." "Dooris who?" "Door is locked, that's why I'm knocking!"

The mailman came to drop the mail off.

Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.

Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."

Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."

Yo mama so fat that when she went out in high heels, she came back in flip flops.

If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?

What do you call a stupid pig? A pious.

POV: 11:07 PM At night, reading these when you notice that, like everyone else, you have no life.

Hey, can you tell that a blonde likes you? She only gives you two nights in a row.

A young boy walked up to his dad and asked, "Daddy, why are you banned from coming to elementary school?"

The dad calmly replies, "Because that's how I met your mother."

Mr. Smith lived in an apartment. In the apartment, he went to the elevator and went to the 16th floor. Then he went to the 21st floor by 5 stairs every morning. Why did he do that?

Because he was too short! So he pressed the highest button he could and walked to his apartment.

Yo mama so fat that if we cut her open, we could stop world hunger.

Yo mama so ugly that Mr. Rogers doesn’t wanna be her neighbor.

What do you call a plate that lies? Dish-onest!

If chickens make chicken nuggies, does that mean dinosaur chickens make Dino nuggies?!?

CONSPIRACY!!!

If trees were sentient, they would make their furniture out of bone, flesh, and blood.

Now ain't that cool?

My stepdad took me to work, and he told me I could climb trees.

I woke up in a hospital. Wait, did I mention that my stepdad was a lumberjack?

Why does Lincoln like Ronnie Anne?

She is the only one that calls me "lamo."

I should name my dog Ariana Grande.

That way I could say that I fucked Ariana Grande.

I done a thing where we have chat hangouts with people that like Gwen or just want to hang out, do stuff.

All people are invited!

We have a lot! Enjoy!

My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden.

He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, "You have to dig a little."

What is a cow that's good at math good for?

Meat pie.