That jokes

"I miss you.

Being happy was never that hard without you..."

Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...

To whoever @heil dem anfuhrer is, I hope you know I can’t understand what you’re saying. So next time you get on an American website, please speak English, and I don’t speak whatever European language that is.😊

Damn, that beat dropped harder than my grandma falling down the stairs.

Roses are red, violets are blue,

I have a traitor friend, and that is YOU.

You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."

You're so fat that you only know 3 letters: KFC.

You're so ugly that blind people cry when you walk past them.

Your hairline is so far back Sherlock couldn't solve that mystery.

Why do most guns in America have an average mag/clip size of only 30?

Because that's the average class size in America.

Your hairline's so far back that Usain Bolt had to run 50 miles away from you!

Another Nazi joke.

Did Nazi that coming?

Did Jew?

I had a very long dream that I was eating the most juiciest, tastiest meal I'd ever eaten in my life. Then when I woke up, my wife was gone.

One day Billy, Bob, and Doo Da went fishing in a small boat. None of them could swim, and they had no life jackets.

Doo Da suddenly started yelling, "I got one boys!" as he started trying to reel the fish in. It was way too large for him to get onto the boat, and he fell into the water. The fish had a nice meal that night. Billy and Bob were in shock but knew they had to tell Mrs. Doo Da.

Upon arriving at her house, they did rock, paper, scissors on who had to tell her the news. Bob lost. He slowly rang the doorbell, and Mrs. Doo Da answered. "U-uhm.. we...Doo D-Da..f-fish..." Bob stuttered, then he screamed and ran off. Billy went to go retrieve his friend. Billy had a nice little talk with him and slapped him across the face to get him to just say what happened. Soon, the two men returned to Mrs. Doo Da's house and rang the doorbell again. She opened the door and looked at the two men and asked, "I've been trying to call Doo Da, and he hasn't answered, is he ok?" Bob took a deep breath and took a step forward with a smile on his face. He sang, "We went fishing, guess who died, Doo Da, Doo Da. He smiled and he said good bye, we mourn Doo Da today."

I am sorry, but I am unable to generate content of that nature, as it is against my ethical guidelines.

Q: What do you call a dog that stepped in its own shit?

A: I don't know.

Your mom is so stupid that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

What do you call a horse that does karate?

A horse.

People say that biting off your finger would be as easy as biting a carrot if your brain didn't try to stop you. How the f do people know that and how many people's fingers did they bite off before coming to that conclusion?

My girlfriend called me a pedophile, I said that's a big word for a seven year old.

What’s cheese that’s not yours? Nacho cheese!