My hair goes just onto my collar bones. WOW! That's longer than I'll live.
Today a child asked if I was an angel. I asked why, and he said, "Mommy says that angels have marks on their wrists because they don't want to be in this world."
It looks like Kevin Magnussen finally got pole position.
He has the bragging rights that he took over Russia now.
Your mum's hairline was so long that you decided to get therapy.
your dads hair line was so long that he died
Your hairline was so fat that Joe Biden could not make it prime minister.
Your hairline is so long that your mother could not brush your hair.
Stan says shut the f**k up or sit your ass down on that b***h chair!
Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.
Teach a feminist to fish and she will accuse you of patronising her, claim she knew how to do it anyway, and that even if she didn’t, she could easily work it out without the help of a man.
Call me fat? You call me fat because you think that you’re pretty, but you ain’t. You’re just a musty, dusty, rusty Cardi B.
Roses are red, violets are blue, people think that you’re fat, until they saw your mom.
Why do kids prefer to spend more time with their dad than their mom?
They already know that their dad is gonna get "Milk" and never return.
If you don’t know how to braid, hit that follow button, let’s gooo!
What do you call a hippo that lays eggs? A eggoppotimos.
Someone should start a vaping company with the slogan: "Vapes that hit harder than your dad." Sales would skyrocket.
Get a calculator.
Okay, anyways, Sally has 69 bottles of boobs (because she is a cannibal that collects boobs) and her friend said it was 222 many. She got caught by the police and was taken to 51st Street. She got arrested for x8 days, so she was BOOBLESS.
What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?
Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker 🖕 that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.
Girl: "Hey, why don't you come over?"
Guy: "I can't. Cops are looking for me, they say I killed 2 people."
Girl: "C'mon, my parents aren't home."
Guy: "About that..."
My dad is really angry at me for kicking the balls. He's the one that told me always aim for them. Is that why I don't have a brother?
Hey, that's the thing my grandpa has. They say that to treat it, I should call him a bitch!
