It's opposite day today. I'm gonna tell an orphan that their parents are here.
Your hairline is so far back that the United States got a front row seat!
Whats an orphan's favorite toy? A boomerang because it's the only thing that comes back to it.
Adam and Eve are going through the garden when Adam suddenly says, "What race are we?"
Eve responds with, "Ask God, he will tell you." So Adam goes over to a hill and asks, "God, what race are we?"
God says, "You are what you are."
Adam goes back to Eve and says, "We are white." Eve asks how he knew that. Adam responds with, "If we were black, he would have said 'you is what you is'."
You could think that some orphans are gay.
But think, would they be home-osexual? 🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️
That chromosome gon' leave just like your hairline. 😗😮😮
9/11 2001... that day was fire🔥
Your sister is so ugly that she made an onion cry
Your mom is so fat that when she saw Moby Dick, she said, "We are family... even though you're bigger than me."
A penguin and a polar bear are sitting in a bathtub. The penguin asks the polar bear, "Hey, can you pass the soap?" The polar bear obliges.
A few moments later, the penguin asks, "Hey, can you pass the scrubber?" The polar bear does. Shortly after that, the penguin says, "Hey, can you pass the rubber ducky?"
The polar bear, beginning to become upset, turns to the penguin and says, "What do you think I am? A radio?!"
Why did the blind man fall in the well? Because he couldn't see that well.
Did you hear that song about 9/11? It was a real banger!
Me: "WYD?"
Her: "Just dealing with a lot: depression, anxiety, and the feeling that I'll never be enough."
Me: "Without me? Lol"
Therapist: And what is it about this generation that bothers you?
Satan: I give them the intro tour and they just say shit like "ooo spooky lol."
Therapist: That's not so bad.
Satan: When I showed one girl the pit of everlasting flame, she sighed and said "big mood."
Me: And this is the room I cry in.
Date: You've said that about every room.
Me: Correct!
What do u call a pig that dose Karate
Your mama was so fat that she sunk the titanic
What do you call an orphan that has a brother? The second one without one.
God = what I hope to be.
Devil = what I can't accept.
I hope to be like Jesus, a dead martyr. I can't accept that my religion is evil.
The double slit experiment shows light particles are a wave that assemble in your presence. And you didn't even have to say a word!
