That jokes

I wanted to make a joke about clocks, but I got no time for that.

Me to bully: You are so fat that when the satellite took the picture, you were considered as an island.

Bully: (Speechless)

What is a thing orphans have that we can never have?

Imaginary parents.

What do you call a toy that has a story?

Toy Story.

What do you call a nacho that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.

What do you call someone that no one loves?

An orphan.

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair that you push in a fire? Hot Wheels.

I'm 24 and I was with a Chinese lady, and she kept screaming, "I'm too young!" Like, I don't know what that name is.

I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin.

The jokes weren't that good, but I liked the execution.

Are you a professor? I have a theory about sex that I need to test on someone.

Love that dress; it would look much better on my floor, though.

How to harass? Say it out loud but slowly. Split that word into, and it sounds like "her ass."

Yo mama so fat that when she sits around the earth, she sits around the earth.

I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”

So, my friend and I were talking this time. I asked them what they would do if they ever met Rengoku. They said that they would probably like shake his hand or something, but I said I would lick his forehead. Wtf?

I'm surprised that the tree is still standing when my emo friend is hanging from it.

Ur mom was so fat that even Jon Brower Minnoch was ten times less fat.

Did you hear about that musical that was sung by some obsidian?

It rocked!

There once was a man that wanted to join a group of right-handed men, but he wrote with the other hand. He got left behind.

I have MP3s on my computer that are older than Johnny Depp's new significant other.