That jokes

Career

    • If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?

    Tony Abbott's career.

  • 1

    • Math class

    • Imagine this: You're at math class. The teacher asks you, "What's 11 * 11?" You say, "120." The teacher says, "Wrong!" You say, "How off was I?" The teacher says, "1."

    Me rn: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHERES THE RAGE TABLE or something like that.

    Mom

    • Mom: That's why your dad left you.

    Me: Why?

    Mom: I mean look at you, depressed, suicidal, and unhappy, always anxious, and other mental health issues.

    Me: How is that my fault? You are a rude mom!

    Mom: Your dad had a heart attack two weeks before you were born, because you are ugly!

    (This actually did happen in real life.)

  • 3

    • Rabbit

    • What do you call a sad rabbit? Unhoppy.

    Why isn't there a sad sunglasses emoji? To show that I am happy but I'm still cool.

    Kidney

    • Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.

  • 1

    • Panera Bread

    • What do you call Panera bread that has been weathered and eventually gathered and via cementation and pressure, it becomes a layer of different materials and is also one of the most common types of rock in the sea?

    Panera Sed!

  • 2