That jokes
I have a short TRUE story of how I found out my brother was gay and did "it" with his best friend.
When my brother was 12-13 years old, he fucked his best friend and I saw it. I was like 4-5 years old, UNDERSTANDING what "it" stood for at the time. All I heard was "ahh" and "mmm". The only thing that traumatized me the most was when my brother moaned "daddy". I was so traumatized that I told my mother about it, she rolled her eyes and said, "He's probably playing a game with Evan". BULLSHIT... NO YOU DUMBASS. He was playing the game "SEX", more like "GAY SEX".
I even told my father and he said, "I don't understand what you're trying to say". I told him DIRECTLY that I heard my brother say "daddy" to his damn best friend!
I actually got so curious, I opened the door and saw them doing "69". I was blank white after I saw it. I will NEVER forget that he did "it" with his own best friend.. NEVER forget about it.
(just a btw, I still have the image stuck in my head and never forget how YOUNG he was..)
(He ain't no virgin anymore I guess lmfao.)
(MORE STORIES COMING SOON =D)
What can you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing that you haven't told her twice already.
Came across the headline this morning whilst reading the paper...
"Woman beats off Rapist in carpark!"
I suppose that was a fair compromise!
My friend told me I was so dark that I had no bright ideas.
What do you call the nun that hates?
For Paul Walker, Mother Teresa.
What were Paul Walker's last words?
Hey, that tree's growing!
All of you idiots who think that it is ok to laugh about us foster kids need to be shot.
I went to a gun shop yesterday. Everything was half off. I didn't know that back to school sales have begun.
I bribbled a kid and he was bribbled hem so hard that his balls came off.
My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
What do you call a person that [proudly] knows only one language? A bloody seppo.
What do you call a person that speaks five languages? A Euro waiter.
There's a new Michael Jackson biopic in the works. There is a possibility that we will know who his love interest was.
What we know so far: Billie Jean is not his lover, and that kid [seen with him] is not his son. We also know that Michael Jackson said that sharing his bed with little boys is "healing" and an act of "sharing the love," so take that as you will.
You ever look back at your ex and are like, "Wow! What was I thinking?"
Then I start to think I was the problem :(
Just kidding, fuck that asshole!
Boy, your forehead so big, I can make a launchpad on that shit!
What can an elevator do that an orphan’s parents can’t?
The elevator can raise a family.
Russians think they are tougher than Americans. Here are some reasons for the Russians out here reading this:
1. USA was NEVER invaded!
2. USA never commits as many war crimes as Russia does!
3. USA made the first nuclear weapon so yeah shove that up your ass, Russians!
4. Our soldiers don’t rape kids.
5. We have more allies than you.
6. We are smaller but stronger.
7. Random civilians in the USA have stronger guns than Russian military does!
Why did the Japanese NOT shoot down the American plane that was dropping atomic bombs?
From what their eyes saw, it was a piece of rice.
Me: Yo mama so fat her alphabet starts with O.
My friend: What's that supposed to mean?
Me: O B C D.
Yo mama so fat and old, she's the meteor that wiped out the dinosaurs!
I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.