Tell jokes

To anger a Libertarian lie to him, to anger a Democrat tell him the truth, to anger a Republican sodomize him.

I got suspended for telling the emo kid to hang in there.

Everyone tells me I need to stop making prostitute jokes.

I guess they're whore-ible.

I wanted to tell a commie a joke about food, but he’d have to wait 10 years to get it.

Go to an orphanage and tell a kid his parents came back.

A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Puerto Rican!"

Then the blonde replies, "OMG, you dirty little slut! How many is a Puerto Rican?"

Man: Stop with these orphan jokes!

Me: Why? Are they going to tell their parents on me?

Hey, how ya doin'?

Well I'm doin' just fine, I lied, I'm DEAD inside.

Don't tell me "it's gonna be alright," I've tried, but I can't fight like this.

Hey how ya doin', I'm tired but I'm trying to fight.

Why can you bully orphans?

What are they gonna do, tell their parents? Oh wait, they got no parents.

Don't tell me I haven't got balls. I just happen to wear mine on my chest, and I can guarantee they're a lot bigger than yours!

I would tell you a time travel joke, but you did not like it.

Why do pirates say, "Argh my Hardees?"

Because that's how you tell when they have the hards.

Women be like don't tell me what to wear, proceeds to tell men what to wear.

What can you tell [as] a difference between [a] man and a woman [in a] relationship?

Both of them are just full of shit.

What is brown and sticky?

What is white and gooey?

What is long and hard?

(Tell me in the comments)

Why can’t you tell a funny joke to a wheelchair kid? Because he just rolls with the joke.

I'm about to go to the orphanage to tell yo mama jokes.

What did one skeleton say to the other?

Skeleton 1: "I need a hand!"

Skeleton 2: (Throws up hand)

Skeleton 1: "That wasn't very humerus."

Skeleton 2: "Why do you have to be so heartless?"

Skeleton 1: "At least I had the guts to tell you!"

Person: You suck!

Me: Tell that to your mom, and she’ll say the same thing, honey. 😎

I was outside digging a six-foot hole when I found a treasure box with jewels and shiny gems! I almost went inside to tell my wife, then I remembered why I was digging the hole.