Television

Television jokes

So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.

The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."

What is the fastest way to spread a rumor?

Telephone? No.

Television? No.

How then? Tell a woman!

While I was waiting for your mum to waddle past, I missed a whole season of my TV show!

Your mum is so fat, when she reached for the remote, when she found it, it was crushed.

Your mama is so stupid, Patrick Starr ran away because he thought she might be contagious.

Why is Kanye West's haircut actually years of work by many doctors to piece together skull fragments like a jigsaw puzzle?

Because Kanye once interrupted Chuck Norris on the set of "Walker Texas Ranger."