Television jokes
A sign that broadcast television has less impact on the masses: The force-feeding of Kelly Clarkson on network television has yet to impact the large stacks of Kelly Clarkson CDs collecting dust in Goodwill, right next to those James Last LPs.
Kelly Clarkson wants to be Rosie O'Donnell so badly. Too bad Kelly is the "Queen of Incest" and not the "Queen of Nice".
(And Kelly came from a sundown town in the Deep South, and not from Long Island.)
Kelly Clarkson and Ian Watkins of the Lostprophets both walk into a bar. The bartender asked, "Hitting on some 2-year-olds today?" It may have been an innocuous question, if it weren't for the fact that the bartender is Chris Hansen.
A husband comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can’t cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can’t fuck."
Yo mama is so dumb, she sits on the TV and watches sofa.
What's the difference between BTS and Futurama? There's only one Bender in Futurama.
I can’t watch anime anymore when my friend’s grandpa is in the house.
He hasn’t heard a Japanese person scream since the war.
Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump?
Because orange is the new black.
The show COPS has been dropped from broadcast,
honoring the longstanding tradition of police turning off their cameras.
Mmm, I'm Walter McWhitey, I'm from the newest Mexico.
How much drugs did Charlie Sheen take?
Enough to kill two and a half men.
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedophile have in common?
"Are you ready kids?"
Yo mama so fat, when she walked in front of the TV, I missed 3 episodes.
What did the doctor say to the terminally ill Power Ranger?
It's Morphine Time.
Ferb is older than Phineas because his last line.
Ferb: "I’m boutta blow this sh*t!"
Your hairline goes so far back that the History Channel made a show about it.
Chuck Norris is a genius for this: Walker Texas Ranger = Wrangler Karate Sex.
Yo mama so fat that she walked in front of the TV, and I missed a whole episode of iCarly.
Do you know that no one finds Hitler a great guy?
But he really saved the History Channel.
What show do orphans relate to? I'm going with "The Hunger Games."