How does E.T. have an advantage over orphans? E.T. can actually phone home.
So I was watching tv right? then i f..ing got banged in the eye with either a remore or metal tongs "wtf"
What do TVs and girls have in common ? They both show you stuff when you turn them on!
What did Homer Simpson say when he ran over a deer? DOE!
Kid -dad I want santa to give me iphone Indian poor dad- son santa is deaf Kid-no he is not I saw him on Tv yesterday Indian poor dad-oh actually I asked him to for a new wife may be he is wearing AirPods Kid-you are my santa daddy Indian poor dad- pull down you pants son Kid-it's not apple product Indian poor dad -its banana
It was September 10, 2001 when I stayed up watching TV shows. I woke up late to work at The World Trade Center. But it was burning. I said out loud, " I was late! I'm happy I was late to work! I mean.. I could've di-" I was then beaten and bruised by the emergency services.
A man is watching TV and his wife comes down and says"I just fell down the stairs, did you not hear me?" Man,"Sorry i thought it was the start of Eastenders"
A kid is watching TV and sees an ad about adopting an animal. He then turns to his mother and says, “Do we have to adopt a donkey?” “No,” replied the mom, “but we decided to do it... we adopted you.”
I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I've ever seen.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite TV show?
Robot Wars.
I was going to watch the origami world championships before it folded.
But it was only on paper view.
I heard that Jimmy Savile never wanted to be famous... All he ever wanted was to settle down, and have kids.
what do you call a funny family of chairs, a sitcom
How do you stop your newspaper from flying away in the wind? -- Use a news anchor.
What's Saudi Arabia's highest rated sitcom? -- How I bought your mother.
Yo mama so fat, when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes.
