Television jokes

What show does an orphan hate?

Family Guy.

My wife caught me one day for watching a porn channel, so I quickly turned the TV to a fishing channel. On her way out, she said: "You should stay on the porn channel. You know how to fish!"

Why did Billy kill himself with a TV remote?

He wasn't even REMOTELY close to being happy.

Because all I do is pound it, man, I would put you on my 600 lb life if you didn't weigh a thousand.

What do you call an emo kid's suicide live stream?

America's funniest home videos.

Cameron Boyce

Yo mamma is so dumb, she will watch Disney Junior all night long.

Yo mama is so dumb, she'll watch edited Peppa Pig all day long.

My young son saw Trump on TV. He asked, "Why is the man on TV painted orange?" I replied, "Son, when Russia pays that much for equipment, they don't want it to rust."

What’s an orphan’s favorite Netflix show?

Fuller House.

A kid with hallucinations and cancer is on a Jeopardy game show.

"What's behind curtain #1... YOU HAVE WON..... CANCER!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

There's a new cooking programme on BBC1. The contestants are victims of domestic violence. It's called "Can't Cook... Right Hook."

What is a show for kids?

Barney.

What is the name of a show for kids?

Barney.

How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

You follow the Fresh prints.

How does E.T. have an advantage over orphans? E.T. can actually phone home.

So I was watching TV, right? Then I f***ing got banged in the eye with either a remote or metal tongs. "WTF?"

Watch BNHA season 4 today!

What do TVs and girls have in common?

They both show you stuff when you turn them on!

I was watching a TV show where a guy was hanging off a cliff, then the series ended... I guess you can say that they left that guy on a cliffhanger!