Television jokes
My dad is John Cena because I can't see him.
Why did Bella Thorne pass gas on "Shake It Up Chicago?" Because I gave her too split pea soup for breakfast.
I love murder shows... wish me luck cause I'm kinda hoping to be on one one day.
Your hairline's so far back that Dora the Explorer can't explore it!
Here via westwingman.net from Veep!
I watched the series of "Unfortunate Events" 4 times, all the shows 4 times. I am crying. I am trying to finish the rest, then my brother comes in and says it is PG (Parental Guidance). After that, my brother called me a baby, then he pushed me off my bed. 😭
What is an orphan's least favorite TV show?
"Full House."
What do you call a stabbed pig?
Porkchopped.
What is a pig's favorite Food Network channel?
Pork Chopped!
Hah, got 'em (I guess)!
What show does an orphan hate?
Family Guy.
My wife caught me one day for watching a porn channel, so I quickly turned the TV to a fishing channel. On her way out, she said: "You should stay on the porn channel. You know how to fish!"
Why did Billy kill himself with a TV remote?
He wasn't even REMOTELY close to being happy.
Because all I do is pound it, man, I would put you on my 600 lb life if you didn't weigh a thousand.
What do you call an emo kid's suicide live stream?
America's funniest home videos.
Cameron Boyce
Yo mamma is so dumb, she will watch Disney Junior all night long.
Yo mama is so dumb, she'll watch edited Peppa Pig all day long.
My young son saw Trump on TV. He asked, "Why is the man on TV painted orange?" I replied, "Son, when Russia pays that much for equipment, they don't want it to rust."
What’s an orphan’s favorite Netflix show?
Fuller House.
A kid with hallucinations and cancer is on a Jeopardy game show.
"What's behind curtain #1... YOU HAVE WON..... CANCER!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
There's a new cooking programme on BBC1. The contestants are victims of domestic violence. It's called "Can't Cook... Right Hook."