Television jokes

What did me and my uncle call hide and seek? Naked and afraid.

What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K? "HDMI."

What do your underwear and the Starship Enterprise have in common?

They are both concerned about “Klingons near your anus”.

What show do orphans hate?

"American Dad."

I remember the time Gordon Ramsay did an African food episode... too bad it was so short he couldn’t find any.

I remember the time that Gordon Ramsay did an African food episode... it was a short episode. Too bad he couldn’t find any.

What did the walrus say when they lost the remote?

"Walrus the remote!"

What do you call a woman with magical abilities and an android? Wanda Maximoff and Vision! Or.... Scarlet Witch and Vision! This joke was added to celebrate and honour Marvel Studios' new series: WandaVision!

Have you seen the Woody Allen v Mia Farrow series on HBO? If you like details about child molestation without having to do it yourself, boy do I have the show for you!

Yo mama so clueless, she sat on the TV to watch the couch.

"I AM NOT PETER GRIFFIN!"

That's the last time we park the TARDIS outside the portaloos at Glastonbury!

I’m probably the episode 9 since I make people cry.

What is an orphan's least favorite TV show?

Family Feud.

What is a shark’s favorite TV show? Sea-S-I.

Family Guy funny moments.

An orphan went on a game show.

The host looked at him and said, "You can't play, this is Family Feud."

Who used to say, "Who loves orange soda?" Kel loves orange soda. Yes, I do, do, do, doooo! Oh, yes! Oh, yes! Oh, yes, I dooooo! Kel Mitchell from Kenan and Kel.

Yo mama is so ugly that when she turned on the TV, it changed channels by itself.

I bought a Dalek egg timer recently...

After a few minutes, it shouts, "Eggs terminate!"