Technology jokes

What do you call a crazy computer?

Wired.

Why are birds good at social media?

Because they "tweet" all the time!?

Why did people take Stephen Hawking's to the hospital when we should have took him to Curry's PC World?

I was working for Space X. I was instructed to control a satellite's orbit rotation when suddenly the screen went black. I investigated and found out one of Penaldos penalty had hit and destroyed the satellite. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my dream job!

Be careful, everybody, I have a red dot on my forehead, so I can record everybody!

I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.

What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.

My friend put an action toy and called it Kobe and put it on a drone. I realized that my friend didn't know how to fly a drone.

My grandma unplugged the internet cable, so I unplugged her life support.

When you step on the weighing scale, it shows your phone number!

I've been trying to use Google Maps in Ukraine, but I couldn't because I only saw Russia.

TV: SCHOOL SHOOTING 13 DIED.

Father: Guns cause all these problems!

Kid playing FNAF security breach *bang* *Bang*

Kid: WOLF PU&EY WOLF PU^$Y WOLF PU*#Y

Why do orphans love elevators?

They raise people!

I made an orphan website.

But it did not have a home page.

Two people are sitting in a skyscraper.

P1: Hey, what wifi are you connected to? The company wifi is horrible.

P2: Airplane wifi.

A phone is like parents. Not everyone has one.

Dad: Ok kids, this selfie will just be me! *screen cracks*

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite song??

Rollin' and Controllin'.

What is the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman?

You can unscrew a lightbulb.

How did the security guard at the orchid get better at his job? He got an Apple Watch.

Hey! My name is Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?