Technology jokes

You: Find a time clock that can change time.

Your friend the next day: Hey, can I borrow yo' house?

You: No, I'm trying to figure out what to do with my TIME!

Also you: Changes the time back to 1267 so you don't have to have that friend again.

What do you call a crazy computer?

Wired.

Why are birds good at social media?

Because they "tweet" all the time!?

Why did people take Stephen Hawking's to the hospital when we should have took him to Curry's PC World?

Be careful, everybody, I have a red dot on my forehead, so I can record everybody!

I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.

What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.

My friend put an action toy and called it Kobe and put it on a drone. I realized that my friend didn't know how to fly a drone.

I bet emo kids are jealous when their phone dies.

I asked an emo kid if they were jealous because their phone died before them.

Why do orphans love elevators?

They raise people!

I fell in love with my computer because it helps me Excel.

A computer is a HARDware device. How come someone still feels it is MicroSOFT?

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite song??

Rollin' and Controllin'.

I made an orphan website.

But it did not have a home page.

I'm just like my LEDs, I'm meant to be hung.

TV: SCHOOL SHOOTING 13 DIED.

Father: Guns cause all these problems!

Kid playing FNAF security breach *bang* *Bang*

Kid: WOLF PU&EY WOLF PU^$Y WOLF PU*#Y

When you step on the weighing scale, it shows your phone number!

I've been trying to use Google Maps in Ukraine, but I couldn't because I only saw Russia.

What is the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman?

You can unscrew a lightbulb.

A phone is like parents. Not everyone has one.