Technology jokes

If my phone battery lasted as long as my relationship, I would never be able to play on my phone.

You: Find a time clock that can change time.

Your friend the next day: Hey, can I borrow yo' house?

You: No, I'm trying to figure out what to do with my TIME!

Also you: Changes the time back to 1267 so you don't have to have that friend again.

What do you call a crazy computer?

Wired.

Why did people take Stephen Hawking's to the hospital when we should have took him to Curry's PC World?

Why are birds good at social media?

Because they "tweet" all the time!?

I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.

What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.

My friend put an action toy and called it Kobe and put it on a drone. I realized that my friend didn't know how to fly a drone.

I was at a train station and a woman ran up to me and asked, "Is this train running on time?" I said, "No, it runs on steam and coal."

I made an orphan website.

But it did not have a home page.

The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.

Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.

Why should you never give an orphan a phone?

Because they wouldn't be able to find the home button.

A computer is like a living organism. Its charger is its life support. If you "pull the plug," you are letting it slowly die.

I don't know what an HD is, but my doctor says I have 80 of 'em'.

I bet emo kids are jealous when their phone dies.

I'm just like my LEDs, I'm meant to be hung.

TV: SCHOOL SHOOTING 13 DIED.

Father: Guns cause all these problems!

Kid playing FNAF security breach *bang* *Bang*

Kid: WOLF PU&EY WOLF PU^$Y WOLF PU*#Y

I've been trying to use Google Maps in Ukraine, but I couldn't because I only saw Russia.

When you step on the weighing scale, it shows your phone number!

Video games don't make people violent, lag does.

Two people are sitting in a skyscraper.

P1: Hey, what wifi are you connected to? The company wifi is horrible.

P2: Airplane wifi.