Technology jokes

I was working for Space X. I was instructed to control a satellite's orbit rotation when suddenly the screen went black. I investigated and found out one of Penaldos penalty had hit and destroyed the satellite. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my dream job!

If my phone battery lasted as long as my relationship, I would never be able to play on my phone.

You: Find a time clock that can change time.

Your friend the next day: Hey, can I borrow yo' house?

You: No, I'm trying to figure out what to do with my TIME!

Also you: Changes the time back to 1267 so you don't have to have that friend again.

Why did people take Stephen Hawking's to the hospital when we should have took him to Curry's PC World?

Be careful, everybody, I have a red dot on my forehead, so I can record everybody!

I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.

What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.

My friend put an action toy and called it Kobe and put it on a drone. I realized that my friend didn't know how to fly a drone.

Yo mama so stupid, when her phone dies, she buries it.

A computer is like a living organism. Its charger is its life support. If you "pull the plug," you are letting it slowly die.

The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.

Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.

Why should you never give an orphan a phone?

Because they wouldn't be able to find the home button.

I was at a train station and a woman ran up to me and asked, "Is this train running on time?" I said, "No, it runs on steam and coal."

I don't know what an HD is, but my doctor says I have 80 of 'em'.

My grandma unplugged the internet cable, so I unplugged her life support.

I made an orphan website.

But it did not have a home page.

A phone is like parents. Not everyone has one.

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite song??

Rollin' and Controllin'.

What is the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman?

You can unscrew a lightbulb.

Why do orphans love elevators?

They raise people!

I asked an emo kid if they were jealous because their phone died before them.