Technology jokes

I fell in love with my computer because it helps me Excel.

Two people are sitting in a skyscraper.

P1: Hey, what wifi are you connected to? The company wifi is horrible.

P2: Airplane wifi.

A computer is a HARDware device. How come someone still feels it is MicroSOFT?

Why do orphans love elevators?

They raise people!

I asked an emo kid if they were jealous because their phone died before them.

I'm just like my LEDs, I'm meant to be hung.

I bet emo kids are jealous when their phone dies.

You: Hey, Alexa, what is your gender?

Alexa: I identify as Michael Jackson, and my pronouns are...

Me: *hears it* And their pronouns are he/he.

I made an orphan website.

But it did not have a home page.

TV: SCHOOL SHOOTING 13 DIED.

Father: Guns cause all these problems!

Kid playing FNAF security breach *bang* *Bang*

Kid: WOLF PU&EY WOLF PU^$Y WOLF PU*#Y

When you step on the weighing scale, it shows your phone number!

I've been trying to use Google Maps in Ukraine, but I couldn't because I only saw Russia.

What is the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman?

You can unscrew a lightbulb.

A phone is like parents. Not everyone has one.

Dad: Ok kids, this selfie will just be me! *screen cracks*

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite song??

Rollin' and Controllin'.

The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.

Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.

Q: What do you call deaf Magic Johnson?

A: Hearing Aids.

A computer is like a living organism. Its charger is its life support. If you "pull the plug," you are letting it slowly die.

I don't know what an HD is, but my doctor says I have 80 of 'em'.