Technology jokes

What was the one test that Steven Hawking couldn't pass?

reCAPTCHA

What do cows listen to on headphones?

moo-sic.

What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?

They're both turned on by kids.

I’m happy to be with my EA when I go to school.

What songs do people with no arms listen to?

None, 'cause they can’t press play.

How do u know Stephen Hawking is having a seizure?

He spills coffee on his iPad.

I'm not racist, I have a colored TV.

He's not dead, his batteries have run out.

I went to see my grandfather in the hospital because I wanted to get to know him better before he passed, maybe take a selfie with him. But when I got there my phone died, so I unplugged a vacuum to plug in my phone. And it turns out he only knows Spanish, so when he kept saying, "Me desconectaste el soporte de mi vida," I thought he wanted water. But when I got back with the water he was asleep, and now my phone was charged, so I translated what he said. And it was, "You unplugged my life support." That's when I called the doctor...

Good news is, I got one sick selfie!

What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.

Why don't Japanese people like iPhones?

Because they are afraid of American airdrops.

What does Earl Bradley and an Xbox have in common?

They both get turned on by children.

What's a spider-man’s dream job? Web developer.

Did you know that new Teslas don't come with the new car smell?

They come with an Elon Musk.

Dear disabled people, simply go to settings and enable it.

Why are emos useful in stores? A: Their barcodes give them discounts.

I donated a computer to the orphanage...

It didn’t have a motherboard.

Your mama is so fat that she took a picture at Christmas, and it's still downloading.

What did Steven Hawking say when the WiFi cut out?.........Nothing.

Why was the computer so good at golf? Because he had a hard drive.