Technology jokes

Just accidentally emailed a porn link to a co-worker... So I emailed ten other co-workers the link and called it a virus.

I got my orphan kid a phone. She was pressing the home button, but it didn't work.

What do cows listen to on headphones?

moo-sic.

What was the one test that Steven Hawking couldn't pass?

reCAPTCHA

What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?

They're both turned on by kids.

I’m happy to be with my EA when I go to school.

How do u know Stephen Hawking is having a seizure?

He spills coffee on his iPad.

I'm not racist, I have a colored TV.

He's not dead, his batteries have run out.

I went to see my grandfather in the hospital because I wanted to get to know him better before he passed, maybe take a selfie with him. But when I got there my phone died, so I unplugged a vacuum to plug in my phone. And it turns out he only knows Spanish, so when he kept saying, "Me desconectaste el soporte de mi vida," I thought he wanted water. But when I got back with the water he was asleep, and now my phone was charged, so I translated what he said. And it was, "You unplugged my life support." That's when I called the doctor...

Good news is, I got one sick selfie!

What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.

Why don't Japanese people like iPhones?

Because they are afraid of American airdrops.

What does Earl Bradley and an Xbox have in common?

They both get turned on by children.

Why are emos useful in stores? A: Their barcodes give them discounts.

What's a spider-man’s dream job? Web developer.

Your mama is so fat that she took a picture at Christmas, and it's still downloading.

I donated a computer to the orphanage...

It didn’t have a motherboard.

Dear disabled people, simply go to settings and enable it.

What did Steven Hawking say when the WiFi cut out?.........Nothing.

Why was the computer so good at golf? Because he had a hard drive.