Technology jokes

Steven Hawking had dark humor.

Whenever he turned on his laugh effect, it diverted power from his screen brightness.

Roses are red, I'm not a boaster.

Elon must've got rushed to the hospital after impregnating a toaster.

Yo mama so ugly, when I put her next to a naked mole rat, it said "bluetooth connected."

How do you make a dishwasher work again?

Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"

Why are Black people getting stronger?

Because the TVs are getting bigger.

I was just chilling in the World Trade Center and got airplane wifi.

What were the Fortnite kid's last words? "I didn't know pumps are back in the game!"

Hey, I just found out my toaster is waterproof! :D

Secretly, I’m a woman catfishing gay men on Grindr. When a notification from the app went off, my son told me, “I’ve heard that sound. Daddy has that game, too!”

For all the Harry Potter fans:

A VPN is occlumency for smart devices, and our ISP is a legilimens.

I just heard that the inventor of the autocorrect died the other day.

May he rest in pizza.

My battery lasted longer than your sad, depressing life.

You look like a 2020 hologram of COVID-19.

Wife: (on phone) Hi. Husband: Hey, I didn’t know dishwashers talk and make me a sandwich.

How do you make Stephen Hawking mad?

You turn off the WiFi router.

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

None, that's a hardware problem.

Knock knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya who? Sorry, I prefer Google.

Why did Steven Hawking die?

He lost Wi-Fi connection and didn't get the data plan.

What songs do people with no arms listen to?

None, 'cause they can’t press play.

Just accidentally emailed a porn link to a co-worker... So I emailed ten other co-workers the link and called it a virus.