Technology jokes
Roses are red, I'm not a boaster.
Elon must've got rushed to the hospital after impregnating a toaster.
Hatsune Miku is not from an anime.
Steven Hawking had dark humor.
Whenever he turned on his laugh effect, it diverted power from his screen brightness.
Why are Black people getting stronger?
Because the TVs are getting bigger.
How do you make a dishwasher work again?
Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"
Memes
I was just chilling in the World Trade Center and got airplane wifi.
Knock knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya who? Sorry, I prefer Google.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, that's a hardware problem.
I just heard that the inventor of the autocorrect died the other day.
May he rest in pizza.
My battery lasted longer than your sad, depressing life.
For all the Harry Potter fans:
A VPN is occlumency for smart devices, and our ISP is a legilimens.
Secretly, Iโm a woman catfishing gay men on Grindr. When a notification from the app went off, my son told me, โIโve heard that sound. Daddy has that game, too!โ
What were the Fortnite kid's last words? "I didn't know pumps are back in the game!"
Hey, I just found out my toaster is waterproof! :D
Wife: (on phone) Hi. Husband: Hey, I didnโt know dishwashers talk and make me a sandwich.
You look like a 2020 hologram of COVID-19.
How do you make Stephen Hawking mad?
You turn off the WiFi router.
I went to see my grandfather in the hospital because I wanted to get to know him better before he passed, maybe take a selfie with him. But when I got there my phone died, so I unplugged a vacuum to plug in my phone. And it turns out he only knows Spanish, so when he kept saying, "Me desconectaste el soporte de mi vida," I thought he wanted water. But when I got back with the water he was asleep, and now my phone was charged, so I translated what he said. And it was, "You unplugged my life support." That's when I called the doctor...
Good news is, I got one sick selfie!
Why did Steven Hawking die?
He lost Wi-Fi connection and didn't get the data plan.
What songs do people with no arms listen to?
None, 'cause they canโt press play.