Technology jokes

Secretly, I’m a woman catfishing gay men on Grindr. When a notification from the app went off, my son told me, “I’ve heard that sound. Daddy has that game, too!”

What were the Fortnite kid's last words? "I didn't know pumps are back in the game!"

I was just chilling in the World Trade Center and got airplane wifi.

My battery lasted longer than your sad, depressing life.

Hey, I just found out my toaster is waterproof! :D

For all the Harry Potter fans:

A VPN is occlumency for smart devices, and our ISP is a legilimens.

You look like a 2020 hologram of COVID-19.

Wife: (on phone) Hi. Husband: Hey, I didn’t know dishwashers talk and make me a sandwich.

How do you make Stephen Hawking mad?

You turn off the WiFi router.

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

None, that's a hardware problem.

Knock knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya who? Sorry, I prefer Google.

Why did Steven Hawking die?

He lost Wi-Fi connection and didn't get the data plan.

Daughter: Mommy, what ever happened to Steven Hawking?

Mother: He died.

Daughter: How did he die?

Mother: He never got recharged.

Just accidentally emailed a porn link to a co-worker... So I emailed ten other co-workers the link and called it a virus.

I got my orphan kid a phone. She was pressing the home button, but it didn't work.

What was the one test that Steven Hawking couldn't pass?

reCAPTCHA

What do cows listen to on headphones?

moo-sic.

I’m happy to be with my EA when I go to school.

What songs do people with no arms listen to?

None, 'cause they can’t press play.

How do u know Stephen Hawking is having a seizure?

He spills coffee on his iPad.