Technology jokes
So I painted my laptop black, hoping it would run faster... Now it doesn't work.
Your mum sat on a phone, and she turned it into a pancake.
Stephen Hawking:
Q: Who Made Stephen Hawkins' Wheel Chair?
A:) Tesla
How does Stephen Hawking go to the toilet? He logs out.
What does Earl Bradley and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
Memes
What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.
For a present on Christmas, I gave an orphan a phone, just without a home button.
Doctors in the Middle Ages, Plague doctor: "I must have some herbs to block out bad air."
Doctors now: "God, WTF were we doing back then?"
Hey guys, how was your day?
If you ask me the same question, here's the answer: depressing.
I still haven't made any friends on this app. All I do is read and comment on old jokes or opinions.
I went to self-checkout at a store and I scanned my products, but the scanner wouldn't scan the barcode on my arm.
What do you get when you cross a shark and a computer? Computer bytes!
Yo mama is so ugly that when she went through a face ID, it didn't think she was human.
I can go to Walmart and scan my wrists. It'll say "antidepressants." ✨
Most people call it grave robbing...
I prefer to call it cryptocurrency.
Me to bully: You are so fat that when the satellite took the picture, you were considered as an island.
Bully: (Speechless)
A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.
This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.
An orphan tried to make an app about orphans, but there was no home page.
My wife says sex is even better on holiday. I wish she didn’t tell me via email.
Today, I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around, I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you, Penaldo!
I created a website for orphans, though it doesn't have a homepage.