Technology jokes
So I painted my laptop black, hoping it would run faster... Now it doesn't work.
Your mum sat on a phone, and she turned it into a pancake.
How do prisoners call each other? Cell phones.
Why couldn’t the orphan play Xbox? Because there was no home button.
Stephen Hawking:
Q: Who Made Stephen Hawkins' Wheel Chair?
A:) Tesla
A programmer pushes a stroller through the park. An elderly couple comes along: "Is it a boy or a girl?" The programmer replies, "Yes."
How does Stephen Hawking go to the toilet? He logs out.
How can you tell that a website was made by an orphan?
It doesn’t have a home page.
Your hairline was sponsored as a Snap Chat Filter.
What’s the difference between how you watch porn and I watch porn?
The windows we watch through.
What do you call a nun on a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
For a present on Christmas, I gave an orphan a phone, just without a home button.
What's the difference between a light bulb and a woman?
You can screw and unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a woman.
What does Michael Jackson and a TV have in common? They both get turned on by kids.
Today, I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around, I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you, Penaldo!
A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.
This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.
Me to bully: You are so fat that when the satellite took the picture, you were considered as an island.
Bully: (Speechless)
An orphan tried to make an app about orphans, but there was no home page.
I went to self-checkout at a store and I scanned my products, but the scanner wouldn't scan the barcode on my arm.
Yo mama is so ugly that when she went through a face ID, it didn't think she was human.