Technology jokes
How do prisoners call each other? Cell phones.
Your mum sat on a phone, and she turned it into a pancake.
So I painted my laptop black, hoping it would run faster... Now it doesn't work.
Why couldn’t the orphan play Xbox? Because there was no home button.
A programmer pushes a stroller through the park. An elderly couple comes along: "Is it a boy or a girl?" The programmer replies, "Yes."
Stephen Hawking:
Q: Who Made Stephen Hawkins' Wheel Chair?
A:) Tesla
How does Stephen Hawking go to the toilet? He logs out.
How can you tell that a website was made by an orphan?
It doesn’t have a home page.
Why can't orphans operate Apple devices?
Because they don't know how to use the home button.
I went to self-checkout at a store and I scanned my products, but the scanner wouldn't scan the barcode on my arm.
Me to bully: You are so fat that when the satellite took the picture, you were considered as an island.
Bully: (Speechless)
My wife says sex is even better on holiday. I wish she didn’t tell me via email.
Today, I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around, I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you, Penaldo!
For a present on Christmas, I gave an orphan a phone, just without a home button.
A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.
This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.
Doctors in the Middle Ages, Plague doctor: "I must have some herbs to block out bad air."
Doctors now: "God, WTF were we doing back then?"
An orphan tried to make an app about orphans, but there was no home page.
What does Michael Jackson and a TV have in common? They both get turned on by kids.
What do you get when you cross a shark and a computer? Computer bytes!
Yo mama is so ugly that when she went through a face ID, it didn't think she was human.