Technology jokes

I gave a deaf kid air pods for his birthday.

Why don’t Asians use phones?

Cuz they wing da wrong number!!!

Did you hear about the new German microwave? It has ten seats in it.

What's the difference between a woman and a washing machine? The washing machine doesn't follow you after you put a load in it.

What is the strongest weapon in India?

The red button (this is a fact).

Your mum sat on a phone, and she turned it into a pancake.

How do prisoners call each other? Cell phones.

Just accidentally emailed a porn link to a co-worker... So I emailed ten other co-workers the link and called it a virus.

Why couldn’t the orphan play Xbox? Because there was no home button.

So I painted my laptop black, hoping it would run faster... Now it doesn't work.

Stephen Hawking:

Q: Who Made Stephen Hawkins' Wheel Chair?

A:) Tesla

How does Stephen Hawking go to the toilet? He logs out.

Your mama is so fat, the photo I took of her last Christmas is still printing.

What's the difference between a light bulb and a woman?

You can screw and unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a woman.

For a present on Christmas, I gave an orphan a phone, just without a home button.

Doctors in the Middle Ages, Plague doctor: "I must have some herbs to block out bad air."

Doctors now: "God, WTF were we doing back then?"

Most people call it grave robbing...

I prefer to call it cryptocurrency.

Where do spiders commit crimes?

The Dark Web.

Hey guys, how was your day?

If you ask me the same question, here's the answer: depressing.

I still haven't made any friends on this app. All I do is read and comment on old jokes or opinions.

Q: Why do orphans get on Facebook?

A: Because they get liked.