Technology jokes
Did you know that new Teslas don't come with the new car smell?
They come with an Elon Musk.
I gave a deaf kid air pods for his birthday.
Why don’t Asians use phones?
Cuz they wing da wrong number!!!
Did you hear about the new German microwave? It has ten seats in it.
What's the difference between a woman and a washing machine? The washing machine doesn't follow you after you put a load in it.
Memes
What is the strongest weapon in India?
The red button (this is a fact).
So I painted my laptop black, hoping it would run faster... Now it doesn't work.
Your mum sat on a phone, and she turned it into a pancake.
How do prisoners call each other? Cell phones.
Why couldn’t the orphan play Xbox? Because there was no home button.
Stephen Hawking:
Q: Who Made Stephen Hawkins' Wheel Chair?
A:) Tesla
How does Stephen Hawking go to the toilet? He logs out.
How can you tell that a website was made by an orphan?
It doesn’t have a home page.
What’s the difference between how you watch porn and I watch porn?
The windows we watch through.
What do you call a nun on a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
Your hairline was sponsored as a Snap Chat Filter.
A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.
This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.
An orphan tried to make an app about orphans, but there was no home page.
What does Michael Jackson and a TV have in common? They both get turned on by kids.
What's the difference between a light bulb and a woman?
You can screw and unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a woman.