Technology jokes
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He had a computer virus!
Jim was caught beating a man up. Brooklyn took a picture of his license plate with her phone and told him, "Your life is ruined!" So Jim took a picture of her, and the next thing you know, he said, "Now my phone is ruined!"
I got the new phone with longer lasting battery, but it still lasts longer than your relationships, ooooooooooo!
Wife: (on phone) Hi. Husband: Hey, I didn’t know dishwashers talk and make me a sandwich.
My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology.
I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
It's just been discovered that as well as writing a book, Adolf Hitler also wrote one of the first computer games, "Mein Kraft."
What’s the difference between a barcode and Rachel Sutherland’s wrist?
Nothing, they both get scanned for a fresh new pack of razor blades.
When Jim was playing on his phone, my grandfather told him, "You use way too much technology!" Jim then said, "No, YOU use too much technology!" and then Jim disconnected his grandfather’s life support.
Two WiFi routers got married. The ceremony was OK, but the reception was amazing.
What do you call a person that can't operate a wheelchair?
Stephen Hawking.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He didn't have enough room for any more RAM on his motherboard. I feel so bad for saying that!
What's the difference between America and a flash drive?
One is USA and the other is USB! 😂😂😂
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
"Windows 10 shutting down."
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies. (This does not apply to me. It's a joke.)
A girl named Rebecca was friends with a guy called Fi. One day, Fi hit Rebecca, and Rebecca lost service.
Rebecca said to Fi, "Why-Fi?"
Why is the iPhone 7 not a smartphone?
It doesn't know jack.
What do you call a flying octopus?
An octocopter! 🚁
What is the difference between an American and a computer?
An American doesn’t have trouble shooting.
What's the difference between a pile of dead bodies and a computer?
I don't know, I have both!