What happened to the alligator when he held a GPS?
He became a navigator.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the power point/modem
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His core i5 Overheated. XD
Why did Stephen Hawking die? ... Because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep."
What do crows use when they get a phone?
A "CAWing" card!
What’s the difference between a barcode and Rachel Sutherland’s wrist?
Nothing, they both get scanned for a fresh new pack of razor blades.
What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a parakeet?
Shredded tweet!
Guy: Are you a vending machine? Because you're a snack.
Girl: Your card got declined.
Guy: That's ok, you got to bang them a few times to get you money's worth.
Dad: Ok kids, this selfie will just be me! *screen cracks*
I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.
What did Google Translate say to Siri?
"Why are you so Siri-ous?"
My girlfriend called me a "bot" in Fortnite, so I called her "sandwich maker 3000."
Yo mama is so stupid, she thought Instagram was a weed delivery service.
If anyone ever makes a time machine, please make a bunker for Hitler/the Nazis and send them to 2050. I want to see who would die first, future us or them.
My girlfriend left a note on the TV saying, "This isn't working!" I don't know what she's talking about, the TV works perfectly fine.
Q: What do you call deaf Magic Johnson?
A: Hearing Aids.
Why can't Asian people use a telephone?
Because they might wing the wrong number.
How did the digital clock show off to its mother?
Look, Ma, no hands!
Scientists make skyscrapers and airplanes.
Religion crashes them.
What’s missing from an orphan's iPad?
The home button.
