Technology jokes

Your hairline's so far back even Bill Nye the Science Guy couldn't use photosynthesis to fix it.

Stephen Hawking doesn’t have a dick; he has a microchip.

Dude, if you're at the ATM, wouldn't that mean you're buying your own money?

I love when I could run through the grass and feel the wind on my face.

Then my mom told me to get off VR, and then I wheeled myself to her.

I get jealous when my phone dies.

You dream in 4K.

Yo mama so dumb that when she saw the "log in" page on her computer, she went and put a log in it.

What do Myspace and my dad have in common?

I haven't seen them in a while.

I wonder if Stephen Hawking was an organ donor because I need new parts for my go-kart.

Apple tried to make a car, but it had no windows ;)

Yesterday I asked an emo girl if she's jealous when her phone dies.

Anyone on this app is homeless and has no point in life. Well, I'm on this app 24/7, so do I have no point in life 24/7, or am I just weird and unwanted?

Gen Z is most likely going to be the last generation who felt the pain of getting up early to catch their favorite show.

Why is Stephen Hawking not scared of anyone?

His wheelchair always backs him up.

How does a tree access the internet?

By logging in and branching out!

So many bots commenting so fúcking fix it!

Why can't orphans play video games?

Because they don't have their parent's email.

Me: Dad, my phone is broken.

Dad: How?

Me: I clicked the home button, but I'm still at school.

Dad: Stupid.

Why don't communists like Microsoft? Because it's Minecraft instead of ourcraft.

Grandma: You guy's generation is on too much technology.

Kid: Well, you're the ones that raised us.

Other family members: ...