Technology jokes
The other day at school we had to write down our hero and what we would do if they walked into our house. I got off easy because my hero is Stephen Hawking.
Guess Stephen's batteries died.
Why don’t Asians use phones?
Cuz they wing da wrong number!!!
Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.
What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K? "HDMI."
I like my girls like my file systems...
FAT and 16.
I asked my phone why I couldn't get a date.
It showed a picture of myself.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He had a power cut.
What do you call a person that guards a Samsung store?
A Guardian Of The Galaxy :)
Yo mama so stupid, when her phone dies, she buries it.
Why did the computer go to bed?
It needed to crash.
I know this is a really bad poem, but I'll do it anyway 'cause I have nothing else to do.
'Twas so pretty a night, with people all asleep. Everyone's dreaming of that candy apple treat, and a palace. But alas! No, it's all a dream. Even eating ice cream, it's all a dream! Why can't I have this? Why can't I have that? BUT NO! It's just hitting you like a bat. YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE IT, you say to yourself. All for me, all for me, and et cetera. It goes on and on. But why wish for riches? You're already rich enough. If you have a device, then take my advise, if you were poor you would have spent the money on food, like honey, not something that... OF ALL THINGS IS GOOGLE!
Like I said, it's really bad. :(
My grandfather says I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and my computer?
I care when my computer crashes.
*gets hit by a car*
Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"
Me: "Please...I need my...phone."
*opens twitter*
Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"
I'm going to start taking confetti with me to therapy so when my therapist asks me, "How are you?" I can say "sad" and toss the confetti everywhere. It'll be like a real-life iMessage!
Has anyone else ever been jealous when their laptop dies?
Why can't an orphan have a website?
... No homepage.
What is this website?
Why couldn't Stephen Hawking pass? Because he couldn't pass "I'm not a robot" test.