Technology jokes

Is Google a girl or a boy?

Obviously a girl, because it won't let you finish a sentence without making a suggestion.

I don't know what an HD is, but my doctor says I have 80 of 'em'.

I'm okay with giving babies iPads, as long as the baby has anencephaly.

You can't get brain rot if you don't have a brain!

Your mum sat on a phone, and she turned it into a pancake.

Two WiFi routers got married. The ceremony was OK, but the reception was amazing.

What do you call a Vietnamese antivirus scanner?

An-Thi-cho-rho-na.

Why can't an orphan build a website? Because it won't have a homepage.

Error code 404. "Will to live" not found.

Smileandtalk.exe has stopped working.

What does Stephen Hawking have in common with Bill Gates? One stands, the other doesn't.

Yo mama so dumb, she went to the eye doctor to get an iPhone.

What do windows have in common with my wife's legs? They're easy to open.

The emo girl got jealous that her phone died and not her.

Why does Stephen Hawking have the voice of an angel?

Because no one has ever heard an angel talk.

Does anyone know how to add pictures? Like, I need to know.

Why do people say "cheese" in a camera?

Because they were using the computer.

My mom said she will slam my head into my computer if I don't get off it. I'm not too worried though, I think she is just joking.

Are you a keyboard? Cause you're my type.

Why can't an orphan have a phone?

Because they will see a home.

What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!

What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!

What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!

What does a baby computer call his father? Data!

What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!

Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!

Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!

How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”

Yo mama is so ugly she's really the reason phone screens cracked!