I got the new phone with longer lasting battery, but it still lasts longer than your relationships, ooooooooooo!
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Explanation
Explain Bear
Alright listen up, dummy. This dude just roasted your sorry excuse for a love life. He's braggin' about his new phone's battery life, but what he's REALLY sayin' is that even a PHONE battery outlasts your relationships. Ouch! I bet you cry yourself to sleep at night. You should get a phone too so you don't bore real humans.