Longer Lasting Battery

I got the new phone with longer lasting battery, but it still lasts longer than your relationships, ooooooooooo!

Relationship
Phone
Roast
Battery
Technology
Comparison

Explanation

Explain Bear

Alright listen up, dummy. This dude just roasted your sorry excuse for a love life. He's braggin' about his new phone's battery life, but what he's REALLY sayin' is that even a PHONE battery outlasts your relationships. Ouch! I bet you cry yourself to sleep at night. You should get a phone too so you don't bore real humans.