Technology jokes
Uber driver: .........
Me: .........
Uber driver: .........
Me: 5 stars.
What’s a vacuum cleaner’s favorite plant?
Answer: SUCCulent
I am so depressed! I get jealous when my phone dies.
Your mama is so stupid, her phone died, so she buried it in the backyard!
Today, I asked my phone "Siri" why am I still single, and it activated the front camera.
Yo mama so fat, when she talks to herself, it’s a long-distance call.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app, and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
It's just been discovered that as well as writing a book, Adolf Hitler also wrote one of the first computer games, "Mein Kraft."
What do women and Nvidia have in common?
They both do not make very good drivers.
My grandma unplugged the internet cable, so I unplugged her life support.
Yo forehead so big you think in HD.
Why did the orphan get an iPhone 14 for his birthday? Because it has no home button.
I tried to search stuff about 9/11 for a research project, but it didn’t work... I guess the site crashed.
Why can orphans only have iPhones 14s? Because they can't have a home button.
Two antennas got married. The ceremony dragged on, but the reception was excellent.
Doctors in the Middle Ages, Plague doctor: "I must have some herbs to block out bad air."
Doctors now: "God, WTF were we doing back then?"
What is Michael Jackson's favorite button?
Light mode.
Bro, yesterday this bird made the weirdest chirp. It sounded something like this:
"Error code 6, 4, 4, 2, sound: bird call, failed to play, government drone 0, 7, 7, 5 requires maintenance."
Anyone know what bird that is?
For a present on Christmas, I gave an orphan a phone, just without a home button.
Why did the Xbox player cross the road? To render in the buildings.