Technology jokes

Me: Hey Siri, did you know Candice died?

Siri: Yes, I was informed she died from sugondese.

Me: What is that?

Siri: Sugondese nuts.

Yo mama so ugly,

my screen cracked when she took her photo!

I made a website for orphans, but it wouldn’t let me put a homepage.

Lesbians when the GPS asks them to go straight.

Gay people when the GPS asks them to go straight.

What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair? (RC-XD)

You are so adopted that you don't have a home button on Google Maps.

Your forehead is so big, you think in 4K.

You're so ugly, even a Snapchat filter can't fix it.

My Mom said she's going to kill me if I don't stop using my computer.

"Warning, all unsaved progress will be lost." - Sun Tzu, The Art Of War.

Yo mama so fat that when she took a selfie, she needed two phones.

Your mum is so fat, when she reached for the remote, when she found it, it was crushed.

I gave an orphan an iPhone with no home button.

If I wanted to hear beeping, I wouldn’t have pulled my grandma’s cord to live.

What does the Trump administration use instead of emails? Alternative fax.

*gets hit by a car*

Passerby: "ARE YOU OKAY?"

Me: "Please...I need my...phone."

*opens twitter*

Me: "LMFAOOOOOOO YALL GUESS WHAT"

I don't know what an HD is, but my doctor says I have 80 of 'em'.

Yo mama is so stupid, she thought Instagram was a weed delivery service.

When you're in the World Trade Center and you connect to airplane wifi.