Technology jokes
Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.
One asks, “What’s your favorite type of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
Why can’t the orphan get any of the new iPhones?
'Cause none of them have a home button.
Your mama is so ugly that when she walked in the bank, they had to turn off the cameras.
If the USA is so good,
Why did they make a USB?
What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
What does a baby computer call his father? Data!
What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!
Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!
Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”
Just got an iPhone 12 for my brother, best trade I've ever made.
I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... She died of hearing aids.
What were the Fortnite kid's last words? "I didn't know pumps are back in the game!"
What are the similarities between BTC and 9/11? They both crashed down.
My emo friend got jealous when my phone died.
Was invited to the inauguration of an I-pad.
We were all ready to begin the event. I was supposed to cut the ribbons, but before I could do that, Penaldo jumped outta nowhere and shouted, "I DON'T WANT I-PAD, I ONLY WANT TO STATPAD!"
Shame on Penaldo for ruining the event! 😡
Today, I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around, I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you, Penaldo!
My wife says sex is even better on holiday. I wish she didn’t tell me via email.
I made a website about orphans.
It didn’t have a homepage though.
What did the blond say about the new iPhone?
Krabby Patty jizz sandwich.
*Enter password*
"ScoobyDoo"
"Password must contain special character."
"ScoobyDooFeaturingBatman"
Me: "Gift a homeless kid iPhone 7."
The kid: But it has no home button.
Me: Exactly. 💀
Wanna know why the plane actually crashed?
Someone turned off flight mode.
(Or a kid just turned on airplane mode.)
I'm not a robot, but orphans are.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His PC overheated.