Tea jokes
Liam Gallagher went into a café for a cup of tea. The assistant asked him if "he wanted a roll with it."
I hate you—if you look at the first letters of the words, you'll know what I mean.
Interfischl
Happy
Apple
Tea
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
What is Michael Jackson's favorite drink? Tea-hee-hee!
Why did Marxism never catch on in England?
Because then it would be impossible to get proper tea.
A magic genie tells Tom, "I can make anything of yours disappear!"
Tom raises his mug and says, "Okay, get rid of my tea."
Genie: Poof!
Tom: It didn't work.
What type of tea is hard to swallow?
Reality.
Why do emo kids drink only herbal tea? Because proper tea is theft.
What's the difference between England and a tea bag? -- The tea bag stays longer in a cup.
To make tea, road, road, road, road.
Case.
The space of space, Der der.
The chosen week was chosen.
Object.
Der mezzer lakes.
OnlyFans, but it’s me smacking your baby daddies with Twisted Tea.
Only Cans.
What is the biggest disrespect to send a box of tea bags to Africa?
What's a darts player's favorite drink? One hundred and eight-tea!
Shorts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin. When it's sniff, stick it in. It goes in dry and comes out wet, And the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag.
It's not what you think it is. It's a Lipton tea bag.
Get your mind together!
I may not be your cup of tea, but I am definitely your 10th shot of tequila.
My dog stepped on a bee, My child spilt my tea, I drank my hot tea, I broke my bloody knee, Now I'm lying in agony, And I'm devastated with no glee.
(Again, credits to my really funny friend)
Wife: Honey! Do you like tea?
Husband: No, I like after "T"!
It means: the letter "U": you!
Three friends are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia.
The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly.
After a while, the tired man gets frustrated and walks downstairs for a smoke. He stops in the lounge and asks the receptionist to bring tea to their room in five minutes.
The man walks back into the room, joins the table, leans towards a power outlet and speaks into it:
"Comrade major, we want some tea to room 62 please."
His friends laugh at the joke, until there is a knock on the door. The receptionist brings a teapot. His friends fall silent and pale, horrified of what they just witnessed. The party is dead, and the man goes to sleep.
After a good night's rest, the man wakes up, and notices his friends are gone. Surprised, he walks downstairs and asks the receptionist where they went.
The nervous receptionist whispers that KGB came and took them before dawn.
The man is horrified. He wonders why he was spared.
The receptionist responds:
"Well, comrade major did quite like your tea joke."
Feeling stressed? Have a nice cup of tea and spill it in the lab of the person bothering you.
What kind of tea do wealthy people own?
Proper-Tea.
How does Moses make his tea?
He Brews!!!