Suicide jokes

I saw someone who was about to jump off a bridge. They were wearing a Nike "JUST DO IT" shirt.

One day a man buys a rope to commit suicide, but his friend stops him.

They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.

What do you call a group of emos?

Suicide Squad.

To start off this Christmas season, I'ma make a list of what I want, then I'ma make plans with my family, then to start off my decorations, I'ma start with the first ornament and hang myself.

An emo and a leaf fall out of a tree. Which hits the ground first? The leaf. The rope stopped the emo.

I be ready to commit suicide.

But when it comes to jumping out my window, I'm scared ash.

Why did Hitler commit suicide?

He got the gas bill.

Wanna go to suicide school, then time travel to Hitler's bunker and ask him to teach you?

Don't commit suicide, that would make DJUNGELSKOG sad!

Hello, it is the suicide line. Just keep hanging.

One day, there are friends having fun.

Hours later, one of the friends, Alice, wanted to leave and said, "Cya guys, I'm just gonna hang in the tree and have some fresh air."

And they all agree.

Hours go by, and the group of friends are ready to go home, but then they see a tree in the distance that looks like someone is hanging on the tree with a tight rope.

I help suicidal people.

BTW verb not adjective.

If a baby dies in the womb, is it considered suicide?

A priest sees a man about to commit suicide. The man says, "I have nothing to live for here. I will die, go to Heaven, and get 72 virgins." Then the priest says, "No need for this. I will take you to the local elementary school."

Why did the emo kid try [to] high five the tree?

So it can hang him.

When there's no piñata at the party, but the emo kid just hung himself.

Did you hear about the emo kid that tried to high-five a tree? It left him hanging.

What’s a depressed kid’s favorite game? Hangman.

You know how we all have different sides? Well, I have a suicidal side. (Here a bang in the next room.) Oh well, not anymore :)

I wish my grass was edgy...

then it would cut itself...