Suicide jokes
Why does a leaf fall faster than an emo kid? Because the emo hangs itself.
One time Little Johnny saw someone in his yard tying a rope to a tree, and he moved the stool and the tree broke. Little Johnny screamed, "HAHA! You're skinny enough to break the tree!"
What did the tree say to the kid with the rope?
Nothing, he was hanging.
Why do emo kids love dressing up on Halloween so much?
It's their last holiday for them, but at least they're still hanging on...
Dwarfism is a growing problem.
Kidding, that’s not funny. My friend died of dwarfism.
He jumped off a curb stone.
Ever had that feeling that suicidal people are a big contributor to the razor blade industry?
Well, they aren't.
Why?
They aren't repeated customers.
Why do transgender people have high rates of suicide?
Because they can't accept themselves for who they are, but they want everyone else to accept them.
Hugging Leo is a great way to commit suicide... you’d just drown in all her fatness.
I thought about learning skydiving without having to afford gear. But the highest place I got is my apartment window.
I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, and they asked if I could pilot a plane.
On the fourth month (Symbolizing 41%) on the first day, transgenders mourn for the trans suicides.
That day is called "April Fool's."
How do you make an emo jump?
A cliff.
A man went into a library to get a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian said, "No, you won't bring it back."
Me and a person downtown.
Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night.
Me: I guess so.
Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this?
Me: I don't know. I used to, but don't anymore.
Person: Why'd you stop?
Me: Unfortunately, I lived every time I'd try something.
How do you get a depressed person out of a tree?
You cut the rope.
Did you know Cobain had dandruff? Yep. They found his head and shoulders all over the back of his couch.
What did Eminem do when he couldn't get some of his mom's spaghetti?
Well, he didn't make it back to recovery this time...
If you wanna really know how to get under my skin, give me a razor and maybe we'll talk ;)
Ama is a bitch. I want him to die and kill himself.
What do Woody and Hitler have in common?
Their bodies go limp before they get caught.