Suicide jokes

To start off this Christmas season, I'ma make a list of what I want, then I'ma make plans with my family, then to start off my decorations, I'ma start with the first ornament and hang myself.

Don't commit suicide, that would make DJUNGELSKOG sad!

One day a man buys a rope to commit suicide, but his friend stops him.

They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.

Why did Hitler commit suicide?

He got the gas bill.

Wanna go to suicide school, then time travel to Hitler's bunker and ask him to teach you?

I saw someone who was about to jump off a bridge. They were wearing a Nike "JUST DO IT" shirt.

One day, there are friends having fun.

Hours later, one of the friends, Alice, wanted to leave and said, "Cya guys, I'm just gonna hang in the tree and have some fresh air."

And they all agree.

Hours go by, and the group of friends are ready to go home, but then they see a tree in the distance that looks like someone is hanging on the tree with a tight rope.

I help suicidal people.

BTW verb not adjective.

If a baby dies in the womb, is it considered suicide?

A priest sees a man about to commit suicide. The man says, "I have nothing to live for here. I will die, go to Heaven, and get 72 virgins." Then the priest says, "No need for this. I will take you to the local elementary school."

Why did the emo kid try [to] high five the tree?

So it can hang him.

When there's no piñata at the party, but the emo kid just hung himself.

What’s a depressed kid’s favorite game? Hangman.

Did you hear about the emo kid that tried to high-five a tree? It left him hanging.

You know how we all have different sides? Well, I have a suicidal side. (Here a bang in the next room.) Oh well, not anymore :)

I wish my grass was edgy...

then it would cut itself...

Are you going to jump? Can I jump with you?

What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair? (RC-XD)

What hit the ground first in a tree, a leaf or an emo kid?

The leaf, because an emo kid got a rope to save him!

Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.