Suicide jokes
Depressed person: *chokes on food*
*involuntary coughs until they can breathe*
"AWWW! I failed the race!"
How do you get an emo out of the tree?
You cut the rope.
I once called a depressed guy [to ask] why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone. (I'm not English, so I could've talked bad.)
Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? I would too if all I heard was "daaaaaaah!"
If I cut my wrist, am I a zebra or a tiger?
What is the difference between a sloth and a depressed kid? A sloth doesn't need a rope to hang.
How sad and pathetic is it that all you wait for after you finish a suicidal joke is for people to like your joke, but you know you'll just be a failure at that as well?
My ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's going to be hanging tonight.
Why did the liberal cross the road?
(Ah, fuck this shit, I'm gonna kill myself!)
What's the one thing me and the New Year's ball have in common?
It's not gonna be the only thing falling 50 stories this New Year's.
How did Capetian Hook kill himself? He wiped his butt with the wrong hand.
Life is a try not to kill yourself challenge.
I can get my grandma 50% off from her groceries by just scanning my wrist.
We have decided to delete this part of this site on 10/24/2022.
A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree. Which one is gonna land first?
The leaf, because the rope stops the emo kid.
I make suicidal jokes because I am a suicidal joke. And now for my closing act at the end of the rope.
If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree, which will hit the ground first?
The piece of paper because the rope will stop the emo.
My sister said to kill myself, so now I’m in the hospital hoping to die.
what's the difference between hitler and you?
one didn't keep posting on twitter about killing themselves.
What is the similarity between a sloth and a depressed kid?
They both hang from trees.