Suicide jokes

Hey girl, are you suicide? 'Cause I think of you everyday.

What did the kid say to the emo?

"Don't leave me hanging!"

I'd love it if you killed yourself, but Hitler killed himself and people still hate him...

It's muffi time, 'cause I wanna die, die, die.

what game does an emo love?

Hangman.

So, a guy walks into a bar, and he tells the bartender, "After this last drink, I'm going to the roof to kill myself." A guy sitting next to him says, "I wouldn't do that if I were you." in which the man replies, "Oh yeah?" So, they both take their shots and go up to the roof. The guy says, "You're not gonna die, watch this!" He jumps off the roof and comes back up. The man rubs his eyes and tells him to go it again. He comes down and comes back up. The man says, "Cool, let me try!" and he jumps down only to kill himself. The guy goes back to the bar, and the bartender says, "Superman, you're an asshole."

How are wet clothes and a depressed person alike? One gets hung up to dry, the other gets hung up to die.

What do depressed people do when they’re bored?

They “Hang” Out.

More expresso, less depresso. Jk, let's all drink bleach cuz life is a bitch.

The last words of a depressive person are: "Yay, Freedom."

Why does a leaf fall faster than an emo kid? Because the emo hangs itself.

I decided that I'll end it all, but when I drove off, I remembered I forgot to do the dishes.

Me: I'm home, ma! Here's her with a new dad. Her: Go hang with someone. Me: Gets the noose, goes to fav tree. I love you, ma. 🙂

If I don't get a partner for Christmas this year, mistletoe won't be the only thing hanging from the ceiling.

What hit the ground first, the feather or the depressed kid?

The feather, the rope was stopping the kid.

I don't have much motivation for things, that's why I haven't yet killed myself, hehe.

What do you call suicidal Hitler?

Slitler.

What makes a depressed kid happy? ..... A bridge.

How can you save a depressed person from a tree?

You cut the rope.

An emo girl and a squirrel both fall out of a tree. Who hits the ground first? The squirrel. The rope stops the emo girl.