Suicide jokes
Mom: You will make me kill myself.
Me who has cut first: I'll kill myself ✨first✨!
My mom asked me if I was okay, so I replied, "I will be," and jumped out the window!
What kind of bath bomb does an emo person use?
A toaster.
Are you a tree? Cuz I’m trying to hang with you. ;)
Why did the emo kid not cross the road?
He was waiting for a car.
What did the depressed kid do in P.E.? They played with the jump rope, but they used it the wrong way.
Q. What's the biggest cause of infant drownings? A. Postpartum depression.
Do y'all know the saying "Hang in there?" Well, fuck that, because I might as well be hanging myself.
What's the difference between me and a rope?
A rope will hang with you.
Hey girl, are you suicide? 'Cause I think of you everyday.
More expresso, less depresso. Jk, let's all drink bleach cuz life is a bitch.
What did the kid say to the emo?
"Don't leave me hanging!"
I'd love it if you killed yourself, but Hitler killed himself and people still hate him...
It's muffi time, 'cause I wanna die, die, die.
what game does an emo love?
Hangman.
So, a guy walks into a bar, and he tells the bartender, "After this last drink, I'm going to the roof to kill myself." A guy sitting next to him says, "I wouldn't do that if I were you." in which the man replies, "Oh yeah?" So, they both take their shots and go up to the roof. The guy says, "You're not gonna die, watch this!" He jumps off the roof and comes back up. The man rubs his eyes and tells him to go it again. He comes down and comes back up. The man says, "Cool, let me try!" and he jumps down only to kill himself. The guy goes back to the bar, and the bartender says, "Superman, you're an asshole."
How are wet clothes and a depressed person alike? One gets hung up to dry, the other gets hung up to die.
If I don't get a partner for Christmas this year, mistletoe won't be the only thing hanging from the ceiling.
What do depressed people do when they’re bored?
They “Hang” Out.
The last words of a depressive person are: "Yay, Freedom."