Suicide jokes
I'd love it if you killed yourself, but Hitler killed himself and people still hate him...
It's muffi time, 'cause I wanna die, die, die.
what game does an emo love?
Hangman.
How are wet clothes and a depressed person alike? One gets hung up to dry, the other gets hung up to die.
So, a guy walks into a bar, and he tells the bartender, "After this last drink, I'm going to the roof to kill myself." A guy sitting next to him says, "I wouldn't do that if I were you." in which the man replies, "Oh yeah?" So, they both take their shots and go up to the roof. The guy says, "You're not gonna die, watch this!" He jumps off the roof and comes back up. The man rubs his eyes and tells him to go it again. He comes down and comes back up. The man says, "Cool, let me try!" and he jumps down only to kill himself. The guy goes back to the bar, and the bartender says, "Superman, you're an asshole."
I decided that I'll end it all, but when I drove off, I remembered I forgot to do the dishes.
Why does a leaf fall faster than an emo kid? Because the emo hangs itself.
The last words of a depressive person are: "Yay, Freedom."
What do depressed people do when they’re bored?
They “Hang” Out.
Me: I'm home, ma! Here's her with a new dad. Her: Go hang with someone. Me: Gets the noose, goes to fav tree. I love you, ma. 🙂
More expresso, less depresso. Jk, let's all drink bleach cuz life is a bitch.
If I don't get a partner for Christmas this year, mistletoe won't be the only thing hanging from the ceiling.
What hit the ground first, the feather or the depressed kid?
The feather, the rope was stopping the kid.
I don't have much motivation for things, that's why I haven't yet killed myself, hehe.
What makes a depressed kid happy? ..... A bridge.
What do you call suicidal Hitler?
Slitler.
How can you save a depressed person from a tree?
You cut the rope.
Q. How do U get the emo out of the tree?
A. Cut the rope.
An emo girl and a squirrel both fall out of a tree. Who hits the ground first? The squirrel. The rope stops the emo girl.
Why did the orphan jump off of bridge?
So they can reunite with their dead family.