Suicide jokes
How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.
Somebody told me to cheer up so.... I told him to pass me a rope :)
Are you bleach? Because I want you inside of me.
What fell down the tree first, the emo or the apple?
Guess what? The apple, because the emo got left hanging.
What do Spider-Man and suicidal people have in common?
They both hang.
Girl, are you a rope? Because I want to hang with you.
My friend had one request for me before he committed suicide, and that was to play Van Halen’s “Jump” at his funeral.
I make suicidal jokes because I am a suicidal joke. And now for my closing act at the end of the rope.
Why is Hitler a better person than Jeffrey Epstein?
At least Hitler killed himself.
what's a depressed person's favorite game?
hangman
Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? I would too if all I heard was "daaaaaaah!"
Do y'all know the saying "Hang in there?" Well, fuck that, because I might as well be hanging myself.
How did the Indian suicide bomber blow himself up?
He pressed the red button.
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
The suicide squad.
Q: Give a man a day of therapy, he'll be sad for then and on.
A: Give a man a noose, he'll be sad for the rest of his life.
Mom: You will make me kill myself.
Me who has cut first: I'll kill myself ✨first✨!
Are you a tree? Cuz I’m trying to hang with you. ;)
what do you get when you cross parents, the san fran bridge and a moody asian teen?
Niagra falls
I once called a depressed guy [to ask] why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone. (I'm not English, so I could've talked bad.)
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Coff- na, jk, bleach.