Suicide jokes
What do Spider-Man and suicidal people have in common?
They both hang.
My friend had one request for me before he committed suicide, and that was to play Van Halen’s “Jump” at his funeral.
I make suicidal jokes because I am a suicidal joke. And now for my closing act at the end of the rope.
Somebody told me to cheer up so.... I told him to pass me a rope :)
How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.
What fell down the tree first, the emo or the apple?
Guess what? The apple, because the emo got left hanging.
Are you bleach? Because I want you inside of me.
It's Christmas morning, and all the decorations are done, but the tree looks like it's missing something. *grabs the noose*
How did the Indian suicide bomber blow himself up?
He pressed the red button.
what's a depressed person's favorite game?
hangman
Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? I would too if all I heard was "daaaaaaah!"
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
The suicide squad.
Q: Give a man a day of therapy, he'll be sad for then and on.
A: Give a man a noose, he'll be sad for the rest of his life.
It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.
You look sexy with that rope around your neck.
My friend asked me if I wanted to hang out by the tree later. I said, "Yeah, I was gonna hang there."
My gay ass: I want to find Jesus.
Religious mom: FINALLY!
Me: Grabs a noose.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Coff- na, jk, bleach.
I once called a depressed guy [to ask] why he loves ropes so much, and he left HUNGing on the phone. (I'm not English, so I could've talked bad.)
what do you get when you cross parents, the san fran bridge and a moody asian teen?
Niagra falls