Suicide jokes
What do Spider-Man and suicidal people have in common?
They both hang.
Why is Hitler a better person than Jeffrey Epstein?
At least Hitler killed himself.
Girl, are you a rope? Because I want to hang with you.
My friend had one request for me before he committed suicide, and that was to play Van Halen’s “Jump” at his funeral.
I make suicidal jokes because I am a suicidal joke. And now for my closing act at the end of the rope.
It's Christmas morning, and all the decorations are done, but the tree looks like it's missing something. *grabs the noose*
Somebody told me to cheer up so.... I told him to pass me a rope :)
How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.
Are you bleach? Because I want you inside of me.
What fell down the tree first, the emo or the apple?
Guess what? The apple, because the emo got left hanging.
What kind of bath bomb does an emo person use?
A toaster.
Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? I would too if all I heard was "daaaaaaah!"
Do y'all know the saying "Hang in there?" Well, fuck that, because I might as well be hanging myself.
How did the Indian suicide bomber blow himself up?
He pressed the red button.
what's a depressed person's favorite game?
hangman
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
The suicide squad.
Q: Give a man a day of therapy, he'll be sad for then and on.
A: Give a man a noose, he'll be sad for the rest of his life.
It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.
Mom: You will make me kill myself.
Me who has cut first: I'll kill myself ✨first✨!
My gay ass: I want to find Jesus.
Religious mom: FINALLY!
Me: Grabs a noose.