Suicide jokes
What do my clothes and a depressed person not have in common?
My clothes don't hang themselves...
What do apples and depressed kids have in common?
They both hang on trees.
I saw an emo orphan by a tree, and I was going to give it a high-five, but instead I just let it hang.
Life is a try not to kill yourself challenge.
I will pay someone to kill me.
Why do Emos love Christmas? So they can pretend they're ornaments and hang themselves on trees. Hope you liked it, happy holidays!
What do you tell a depressed person?
Just hang in there!
It's better being depressed and suicidal than being happy, know why? Happiness never lasts forever.
When you forget the pinata at the birthday party. The kids: "Aww man." But the emo kid just hung himself. Kids: "Yaaaaayyy." Parents: "Adjust, improvise, overcome, that is the way."
An obese, depressed mother is trying to tie a noose, but can't reach it, so she calls her son for help.
*A few minutes later*
son: There.
mother: Where did you learn to tie such a good noose?
son: Dad showed me before he died.
mother: DAMN HIM TO HE- *slips and the noose chokes her to death*
What did the rope and the tree say to the kid?
Do you want to hang later?
What's the most common thing between Hitler and an emo?
Hitler knows when to kill himself!
Is it normal my emo cousin's hobby is tying himself to train tracks?
What is the similarity between a sloth and a depressed kid?
They both hang from trees.
What does a depressed person and a fashion enthusiast have in common?
They both have something hanging in their closet.
What's red and spins really fast?
Kurt Cobain's ceiling fan.
Next time I'm at a restaurant, and they ask what I want to drink, I'm going to say "bleach".
How do you get an emo out of a tree?
Just cut the rope.
What is long, brown, and cures depression?
A noose.
It's Christmas morning, and all the decorations are done, but the tree looks like it's missing something. *grabs the noose*