Suicide jokes
If an apple and an emo kid fell out of a tree, which would hit the ground first?
The apple, because the rope caught the emo kid.
What’s the difference between an emo kid and a dead pig?
Suicide squad.
I'm thinking of getting a job as a gardener--pushing up the daisies!
Are you a noose, 'cause I wanna hang out with you?
To start off this Christmas season, I'ma make a list of what I want, then I'ma make plans with my family, then to start off my decorations, I'ma start with the first ornament and hang myself.
My ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's going to be hanging tonight.
My dad: You better wear flip-flops everywhere.
Suicidal son: Goes to crack alley.
Me: What do you call 4 depressed kids?
My friend: What?
Me: The Suicide Squad.
What do you call my sister?
Suicidal.
Why do deer stay in front of a moving car?
To commit suicide.
What’s the easiest way to dig a hole to China?
Through my arm.
So put your best face on everybody, pretend you know this song everybody.
*pulls out noose* "COME HANG!"
*pulls out gun* Let's go out with a bang... Bang- *gunshot*
How do u get a depressed person out of a tree?
You cut the rope they hung themself in...
What did the phone receptionist at the suicide hotline tell the callers?
Hang in there!
Rape victim: I want to die.
Man: Hang in there.
Rape victim: That's what I'll do, I'll hang myself.
Why don’t you get a book about how to commit suicide?
Because you won’t bring it back afterwards.
I only have sex with suicidal bitches because that pussy [is] limited edition.
"1v1 me bitch!"
A noose, a knife, a gun, and a razor blade look at a child who committed suicide after being bullied.
Everyone looked at the noose. The noose would say, "What? It wasn't my fault!"
What’s the worst thing about being suicidal?
The school shooter will always spare you.