Suicide jokes

An obese, depressed mother is trying to tie a noose, but can't reach it, so she calls her son for help.

*A few minutes later*

son: There.

mother: Where did you learn to tie such a good noose?

son: Dad showed me before he died.

mother: DAMN HIM TO HE- *slips and the noose chokes her to death*

Wow, didn't know little Jhony jokes were so dark. Well, but what do you expect from a site with jokes about suicide, sex, and drugs? :-)

"Drugs?????" His eyes popped out. Well, I don't really know if there actually are-- and the exact ones... But there's so many kinds of jokes-- even chin jokes. :^))

And slice jokes!

What kind of "slices"?

Handy ones. ^_^

I saw an emo orphan by a tree, and I was going to give it a high-five, but instead I just let it hang.

What did the rope and the tree say to the kid?

Do you want to hang later?

What's the most common thing between Hitler and an emo?

Hitler knows when to kill himself!

Is it normal my emo cousin's hobby is tying himself to train tracks?

What is the similarity between a sloth and a depressed kid?

They both hang from trees.

What does a depressed person and a fashion enthusiast have in common?

They both have something hanging in their closet.

How do you get an emo out of a tree?

Just cut the rope.

Next time I'm at a restaurant, and they ask what I want to drink, I'm going to say "bleach".

What is long, brown, and cures depression?

A noose.

What do Spider-Man and suicidal people have in common?

They both hang.

I make suicidal jokes because I am a suicidal joke. And now for my closing act at the end of the rope.

It's Christmas morning, and all the decorations are done, but the tree looks like it's missing something. *grabs the noose*

Flat earthers are completely wrong. If the earth was flat, I would have yeeted myself off the edge years ago!

How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.

What fell down the tree first, the emo or the apple?

Guess what? The apple, because the emo got left hanging.

Are you bleach? Because I want you inside of me.

My friend had one request for me before he committed suicide, and that was to play Van Halen’s “Jump” at his funeral.

Girl, are you a rope? Because I want to hang with you.