Suicide jokes

What's the most common thing between Hitler and an emo?

Hitler knows when to kill himself!

Is it normal my emo cousin's hobby is tying himself to train tracks?

What is the similarity between a sloth and a depressed kid?

They both hang from trees.

What do Phillip Adam and Kurt Cobain have in common?

They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.

What does a depressed person and a fashion enthusiast have in common?

They both have something hanging in their closet.

Next time I'm at a restaurant, and they ask what I want to drink, I'm going to say "bleach".

How do you get an emo out of a tree?

Just cut the rope.

What do a convention of nerds and Kurt Cobain's garage have in common?

There's brains all over the place.

What is long, brown, and cures depression?

A noose.

What fell down the tree first, the emo or the apple?

Guess what? The apple, because the emo got left hanging.

Are you bleach? Because I want you inside of me.

How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.

Flat earthers are completely wrong. If the earth was flat, I would have yeeted myself off the edge years ago!

It's Christmas morning, and all the decorations are done, but the tree looks like it's missing something. *grabs the noose*

Girl, are you a rope? Because I want to hang with you.

I make suicidal jokes because I am a suicidal joke. And now for my closing act at the end of the rope.

My friend had one request for me before he committed suicide, and that was to play Van Halen’s “Jump” at his funeral.

What do Spider-Man and suicidal people have in common?

They both hang.

what's a depressed person's favorite game?

hangman

Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? I would too if all I heard was "daaaaaaah!"