Suicide

Suicide jokes

Friend

What do you do if your online friend wants to commit suicide? You can't do anything, he's already on line.

Friend

My friend told me to make more friends, so I joined a suicide cult.

I’ll be hanging with them for a while.

Orphan

Why does the orphan commit suicide to join the other side to see their parents?

Wrist

If you slit your wrist while crying in pain, that's self-harm.

If you slit your wrist but have no expression, that's acting.

It isn't any of those if it's suicide.

Victim

What do Logan Paul, KSI, and the Japanese suicide victim have in common?

Tying.

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  • Ego

    If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb to the top of your ego then jump to your IQ.

    Suicide Bomber

    It’s all fun and games at “take your kid to work day” until you realize your dad is a suicide bomber.

    Dad

    My dad told me to stop with the suicide jokes, so I said I’ll cut it out.

    Nothing

    They always say you are what you eat! So I’d be nothing. That sounds about right.

    Hedgehog

    Why did the hedgehog cross the road?

    To get to the other side (suicide).

    Why did the second hedgehog cross the road?

    To see his flatmate.

    Purpose

    Teacher: "What do you think is your purpose in our society?"

    Me: "To reduce the population by one."

    Autobiography

    My initials are K.M.C.

    Which could also stand for "Kill Main Character".

    Which I am planning to do in this book I’m writing.

    I’m writing an autobiography.

    No one

    I told a joke and someone said, "no one asked." Then I said, "no one would care to even ask."

    Hangman

    What game does a suicidal person who is very bad at word or guessing games love?

    Hangman.