Suicide jokes

Suicidal thoughts aren’t nice, but nor is life. So why not get them both done and over with?

My friend told me to make more friends, so I joined a suicide cult.

I’ll be hanging with them for a while.

Why does the orphan commit suicide to join the other side to see their parents?

Suicide: Turning one's biology into complex organic chemistry.

If you slit your wrist while crying in pain, that's self-harm.

If you slit your wrist but have no expression, that's acting.

It isn't any of those if it's suicide.

What do Logan Paul, KSI, and the Japanese suicide victim have in common?

Tying.

If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb to the top of your ego then jump to your IQ.

Is your name suicide because I think about you all the time?

It’s all fun and games at “take your kid to work day” until you realize your dad is a suicide bomber.

My dad told me to stop with the suicide jokes, so I said I’ll cut it out.

What do you tell someone who has depression?

Answer: Just hang in there.

They always say you are what you eat! So I’d be nothing. That sounds about right.

Why did the hedgehog cross the road?

To get to the other side (suicide).

Why did the second hedgehog cross the road?

To see his flatmate.

Are you my depression, because I’m falling for you?

My initials are K.M.C.

Which could also stand for "Kill Main Character".

Which I am planning to do in this book I’m writing.

I’m writing an autobiography.

Teacher: "What do you think is your purpose in our society?"

Me: "To reduce the population by one."

What's the depressed person's favorite song?

Van Halen - Jump

What game does a suicidal person who is very bad at word or guessing games love?

Hangman.

I told my suicidal friends to stop posting suicidal memes. They said they will stop soon.

What do you say to a depressed person on the ceiling?

Hang in there!