Suicide jokes

What do you do if your online friend wants to commit suicide? You can't do anything, he's already on line.

My friend told me to make more friends, so I joined a suicide cult.

I’ll be hanging with them for a while.

Why does the orphan commit suicide to join the other side to see their parents?

Suicide: Turning one's biology into complex organic chemistry.

If you slit your wrist while crying in pain, that's self-harm.

If you slit your wrist but have no expression, that's acting.

It isn't any of those if it's suicide.

What do Logan Paul, KSI, and the Japanese suicide victim have in common?

Tying.

If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb to the top of your ego then jump to your IQ.

Is your name suicide because I think about you all the time?

It’s all fun and games at “take your kid to work day” until you realize your dad is a suicide bomber.

My dad told me to stop with the suicide jokes, so I said I’ll cut it out.

What do you tell someone who has depression?

Answer: Just hang in there.

They always say you are what you eat! So I’d be nothing. That sounds about right.

Why did the hedgehog cross the road?

To get to the other side (suicide).

Why did the second hedgehog cross the road?

To see his flatmate.

Teacher: "What do you think is your purpose in our society?"

Me: "To reduce the population by one."

My initials are K.M.C.

Which could also stand for "Kill Main Character".

Which I am planning to do in this book I’m writing.

I’m writing an autobiography.

Are you my depression, because I’m falling for you?

What do you say to a depressed person on the ceiling?

Hang in there!

I told a joke and someone said, "no one asked." Then I said, "no one would care to even ask."

What game does a suicidal person who is very bad at word or guessing games love?

Hangman.

What's the depressed person's favorite song?

Van Halen - Jump