"Trust falling" with a bridge is more trustworthy than me.
Suicide Jokes
Are you a noose, 'cause I wanna hang out with you?
I swallowed shampoo. It goes blblblblb. 🧼
I tried to fight a razor. It cut me so deep I thought I would die.
Turns out he didn't kill me. I was never happy, but that shit made me angry.
Why did the pencil want to kill himself?
He had no point in life.
Where do depressed people go to eat?
Suicide Sonic.
Suicide is population control, republished.
What do emo kids like to do in their spare time?
Hanging out.
When I called the suicidal hotline in Iraq, they asked if I could drive the car.
What do you call my sister?
Suicidal.
I am not making a noose; I am making an unsubscribe button for life.
I asked to borrow a book from the library. It was titled "Suicide in Ten Easy Steps." The cunt just stood and said, "Cheeky bastard, you won't bring it back!"
What did the phone receptionist at the suicide hotline tell the callers?
Hang in there!
I would post a joke, but maybe it's too deadpan.
The teacher says to do your homework. I do. My friends do. One person never does any of his homework.
Eventually, we had to have fun. He said he didn't do it. WOW what did he do? I like to think he got smacked and nearly committed suicide.
Why do people not adhere to the corona measures?
Because they hate their lives and want to die.
Sometime ago I went to the morgue and asked if they took walk-ins.
Are you a rope? Because I wanna hang with you.
So sad when the emo kid tried to give a high five to a tree.
Too bad he left him hanging.
What was Jim Jones' favorite drink?
Killer Kool-Aid.
