Suicide jokes
An obese, depressed mother is trying to tie a noose, but can't reach it, so she calls her son for help.
*A few minutes later*
son: There.
mother: Where did you learn to tie such a good noose?
son: Dad showed me before he died.
mother: DAMN HIM TO HE- *slips and the noose chokes her to death*
What did the suicidal leprechaun say?
"Irish I was dead."
I am a reverse rapper because I put bars in my mouth.
A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am, I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide.” The librarian replies, “No, you won’t give it back.”
I talked to a future suicide bomber. I told him, "ISIS ain't got sh** on me because I planted a bomb and lived."
Why did I walk across the road?
To get hit by a car.
The weirdest thing happened yesterday. My dad came back from work... He’s a suicide bomber.
Why did 10 kill itself?
Because it was between 9/11.
Go commit Thanos finger snap.
Everyone laughs when a bully teases someone, but no one laughs when that person commits suicide.
Why do emo people want to be called scene now? The only thing I've seen from them is their suicide rate climbing.
What do emos and apples have in common?
They both hang on trees.
The gas prices are going up so much that even Hitler is killing himself.
People say dogs are like their owners. So true. My dog keeps on running into the street as if she doesn't care about her life.
I don't care about her life either hahahaha!! :)
What's the last thing that went through Curt Cobain's mind?
His teeth.
When I grow up, I wanna be like Lil Peep... Dead.
What do Logan Paul, KSI, and the Japanese suicide victim have in common?
Tying.
This guy walks into a library one day and asks the librarian for a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian says, "F*** no, you won’t return it!"
Suicide bombers, carry bombs and remember to breathe.
My dad: You better wear flip-flops everywhere.
Suicidal son: Goes to crack alley.