Suicide

Suicide jokes

My dad told me I'm a failure.

I failed a math test.

Good thing there's a pole outside my house.

What do a convention of nerds and Kurt Cobain's garage have in common?

There's brains all over the place.

What did Eminem do when he couldn't get some of his mom's spaghetti?

Well, he didn't make it back to recovery this time...

To all of you who can't understand using jokes as a coping mechanism... you know what I will ask of you :)

Q: Give a man a day of therapy, he'll be sad for then and on.

A: Give a man a noose, he'll be sad for the rest of his life.

What do you get when you have an annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.

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  • I'd love it if you killed yourself, but Hitler killed himself and people still hate him...

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  • I’m giving in my two week resignation to life... it’s not you ... it’s me!!!

    Me: Hey dad, I'm in debt, my dick got cut off, I have depression, and I am suicidal!

    Dad: Hi in debt, my dick got cut off, I have depression, and I am suicidal! I'm dad!

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