Suicide

Suicide Jokes

Depression

How to tell if you're depressed? You came to a website called "worst jokes ever.com" looking for a quick smile.

Teacher

Teacher: Who here has thought about committing suicide?

Half of the class: *raises hand*

Teacher: ...

The half of the class: *Starts talking about how they were thinking of doing it*

Class

Person 1: You are the dumbest person in the class.

Person 2: Well, you're the second. Maybe, but at least I'm not the dumbest.

Person 2: I know how to fix that!

... Next day person commits suicide...

Cliffhanger

What do you call someone who wants to commit suicide by jumping off a building?

A cliffhanger.

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  • Life

    Friend #1: "Yo guys, what's the most unfair game you've ever played? For me it's Fortnite."

    Friend #2: "I'd have to say Monopoly."

    Me: "The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it's a one-way game."

    Friend #2: "Uhh...that's not exactly what he meant..."

    Friend #1: *calls the suicide hotline*

    Razor

    If you're gonna razor yourself, you might as well have shaving cream.

    Misunderstanding

    A depressed kid was stuck on a tree, and a man saw the kid.

    Man: "Hang in there! I'm gonna get some help!"

    Two minutes later, the kid literally did what the guy said.

    RIP Daniel Kyre from Cyndago (July 6, 1994-September 18, 2015)

    Daniel committed suicide five years ago today......

    Friend

    My friend was on a wheelchair... he committed suicide yesterday. I remember when I met him last time, he told us a good joke and I appreciated him and told him to become a stand-up comedian.

    Fight

    Got into a fight last night. We both had blades. He cut me deep. I thought I was gone, but he forgot to keep the water running.

    Weird thing was that we were in the fight of our lives in the restroom and that guy kinda looked like me.

    People

    Japanese people are so cool and organized, they have their own ways of suicide.

  • 3
  • Emo people

    Why do emo people want to be called scene now? The only thing I've seen from them is their suicide rate climbing.