Suicide jokes

Me: *Meets girl, starts to form crush* Me after I get enough courage to talk to her: “Are you a casket lid because I want you on top of me?”

“What do you call my friend group?” “Suicide Squad.”

How many fingers am I holding up?

Said the suicide bomber, referring to the countdown.

[Them]: "Don't you think you'll feel ashamed of all the suicide jokes you've made when you get older?"

[Me]: "When I what?" 0-0

I get so many things stuck in my head, though, unfortunately none of them were a bullet.

How did a blonde commit suicide?

She jumped from the basement window.

If I hung myself from a cliff, would people call me a cliffhanger?

Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind?

You call it suicide. I call it a failed parkour attempt.

The weirdest thing happened yesterday. My dad came back from work... He’s a suicide bomber.

What do you call a group of Emo kids?

Suicide Squad.

What jumps and never let's go?

An Emo kid.

I bet all Emos want to be like their biggest influencers some day.

Dead.

Why do Emos want to be the "Scene" these days?

The only thing I've "Scene" from them is their suicide rate climbing, it's starting to climb quicker than they did to get to the top of whatever they jumped off.

What is the best cure for aging?

Suicide.

I tried to commit suicide today; never doing that again. I almost killed myself.

Tried to kill myself today using a bungee cord, I kept ALMOST dying.

Go Kermit, toaster bath.

To all of you who can't understand using jokes as a coping mechanism... you know what I will ask of you :)

What place can you always find suicidal cows at?

"McDonald's."

What's a suicidal person's favorite game?

Hangman.

My friend said he wanted to die, and I told him not to jump. But when he screamed, "Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville, and welcome to Jackass!" I knew it was over.

If a person shoots a person about to commit suicide, is it making it less painful, or is it murder?

I remember the first time I went to one of Luis Fonsi's concerts...

I wanted to commit DEATHpacito so badly.