It must be not a good suicide story if you can tell it.
Allan: What are you doing Saturday night?
Museum girl: Committing suicide.
Allan: What about Friday night?
The suicide hotline didn't even give me advice on how to kill myself. Not helpful at all
To everyone saying "don't joke about suicide, it's not even funny to laugh about people dying". Do you think we have it easy?? Have you ever thought these jokes were helping us to cope? Mind your own business and don't make assumptions on people you know nothing about, please and thanks.
Got into a fight last night. We both had blades. He cut me deep. I thought I was gone, but he forgot to keep the water running.
Weird thing was that we were in the fight of our lives in the restroom and that guy kinda look like me.
You call it suicide. I call it a failed parkour attempt.
Friend #1: "Yo guys, what's the most unfair game you've ever played? For me it's Fortnite."
Friend #2: "I'd have to say Monopoly."
Me: "The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it's a one-way game."
Friend #2: "Uhh...that's not exactly what he meant..."
Friend #1: *calls the suicide hotline*
How did a blonde commit suicide
She jumped from the basement window
Go Kermit toaster bath
When ur fighting with the emo kid and he brings his friends. Now u gotta fight the suicide squd
What do you call someone who wants to commit suicide by jumping off a building?
A cliffhanger.
Why do emo people want to be called scene now, the only thing I’ve scene from them is there suicide rate climbing
What do you call when a friend calm his suicidal friend? Hang in there buddy
Thankfully I'm still alive because I fail at everything in life.
What do you call a 60 year old with a bomb?
Suicide Boomer
What did the suicidal leperchaun say Irish i was dead
These gags are killing me !
If you're gonna razor yourself you might as well have shaving cream.
Funny thing happened today, my dad came home from work which is weird cause he’s a suicide bomber.
my friend was on wheelchair......he committed suicide yesterday, I remember when i met him last time he told us a good joke and i appreciated him and i told him to become stand up comedian.
