Muslims commit suicide to go to Paradise and get 72 virgins… I just go to the local primary school

There are going so many things through my head. Sadly none of it is a 9mm.

I’m going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I’m a piñata

These jokes cheered me up from suicide. This is amazing material. God bless all of you.

Murder is the same as suicide except the other person is doing it for you

A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide” The librarian replies, “No,you won’t give it back”

You must be depression, because you make me want to kill myself ;)

I saw a man sitting on the ledge of a bridge the other day, and asked him what was wrong. He responded with nobody loves me, so i told him that may be true but you dont wanna kill yourself you want to die of old age, or at least be murdered, suicide is for the weak. he responded with your right so I pushed him over the bridge, and he died of murder

What’s the best way to cure the hiccups? Suicide.

A man walked into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide, the librarian responds with ”fuck off you won’t bring it back!”

What do you do when life gives you lemons Slit your wrist and give a lemon a twist.🙂💊💉

Allan: What are you doing Saturday night?

Museum girl: Committing suicide.

Allan: What about Friday night?

What do you call someone who wants to commit suicide by jumping off a building?

A cliffhanger.

What do you call a 60 year old with a bomb?

Suicide Boomer

Roses are red, I dont know why, Living is hard, I want to die.

Suicidal people are ground breaking

What do you call a group of emos?

Suicide Squad.

What do you get when you have a annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.

So my teacher’s daughter commited suicide. One day Ima go up to her and say “What’s wrong did Logan Paul leave your daughter hangin’”.

I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note… it’s a start…

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