Suicide jokes
Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide," and he told me from now on I have to pay in advance.
where do suicide bombers go when they die? everywhere!
What do you call an emo strip club?
Suicidal Thots.
Suicide is never the answer.
Suicide is the question.
The answer is yes.
What’s the difference between my lawn and my wrists?
Nothing, I cut both of them.
Why did Logan Paul go to the suicide forest?
To see who's hanging around.
Friend: *hits head* Others: How many fingers am I holding up? Me to friend: How suicidal am I on a scale from one to ten? Friend: Ten Me: He's fine guys.
Tried to kill myself today using a bungee cord, I kept ALMOST dying.
A suicide bomber's biggest fear is dying alone.
What's a suicidal person's favorite game?
Hangman.
I'm a fast reader, I can go through 20 stories in a few seconds.
Things I would have missed if my attempt in 2018 worked...
My attempts in 2019, 2020, and 2021!
To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I'm still here.
If a person shoots a person about to commit suicide, is it making it less painful, or is it murder?
What is the best cure for aging?
Suicide.
I am a failure to everyone and decided to attempt a suicide, guess what? I failed.
People sometimes ask me why I cut myself. I usually answer that at least I can scan my worth at the supermarket.
The weirdest thing happened yesterday. My dad came back from work... He’s a suicide bomber.
What do you do when life gives you lemons? Slit your wrist and give a lemon a twist. 🙂💊💉
How do you get your grass to cut itself?
Make it depressed.