Suicide jokes
Think everyone who wrote these jokes are dead yet?
What makes suicide illegal? Getting caught.
On the lines of "I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous,"
I'm dying to live forever!
What do you call a 60 year old with a bomb?
Suicide Boomer.
My dad is like my depression, you need a suicide letter to find him.
Suicidal people are a big contributor to the rope making industry.
Things I would have missed if my attempt in 2018 worked...
My attempts in 2019, 2020, and 2021!
Person 1: You are the dumbest person in the class.
Person 2: Well, you're the second. Maybe, but at least I'm not the dumbest.
Person 2: I know how to fix that!
... Next day person commits suicide...
What did the suicidal leprechaun say?
"Irish I was dead."
To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I'm still here.
Why did Logan Paul go to the suicide forest?
To see who's hanging around.
Are you suicide, 'cause you're always on my mind?
What do suicidal people do in their spare time? Hang out.
Imagine failing to commit suicide; you might as well go kill yourself.
What’s the difference between my lawn and my wrists?
Nothing, I cut both of them.
A friend asked me, "Where are you going?" I answered, "6 feet underground."
I recently was told by my therapist to stop with the suicide jokes. So I replied with "Don't worry, it will all end soon."
Someone asked me if I've ever tried to kill myself. I responded, "Absolutely. A few times actually. I'm just not very good at it."
Friend #1: "Yo guys, what's the most unfair game you've ever played? For me it's Fortnite." Friend #2: "I'd have to say Monopoly." Me: "The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it's a one-way game." Friend #2: "Uhh...that's not exactly what he meant..." Friend #1: *calls the suicide hotline*
Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you.”
Person I’m talking to: *Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline* “haha what.”