Suicide jokes

Will my suicidal thoughts leave me too if I get attached to them?

So, I’m not sure if it’s a joke, but I thought it was funny. So imagine you try to die by shooting yourself, but you sneeze and pull the trigger... I don't know about you, but I would’ve been mad. Because wtf, I wasn’t readyyyy!

Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't know why I am still alive for you.

what do you call a suicide bomber that loves water? a bath bomb.

Look in the mirror. There's a joke for you.

I like when people say they hate me because we have something in common. <3

What do you call a group of Emo kids?

Suicide Squad.

What jumps and never let's go?

An Emo kid.

I bet all Emos want to be like their biggest influencers some day.

Dead.

Why do Emos want to be the "Scene" these days?

The only thing I've "Scene" from them is their suicide rate climbing, it's starting to climb quicker than they did to get to the top of whatever they jumped off.

What do you call a group of emos?

Suicide Squad.

A friend asked me, "Where are you going?"

I answered, "6 feet underground."

Jason: Did you hear about the storm-trooper who attempted suicide?

Dave: No.

Jason: Well, he hit his first target.

These jokes cheered me up from suicide. This is amazing material. God bless all of you.

Murder is the same as suicide, except the other person is doing it for you.

I wanted to solve teen suicide, so I shot up a middle school.

To everyone saying, "Don't joke about suicide, it's not even funny to laugh about people dying." Do you think we have it easy? Have you ever thought these jokes were helping us to cope? Mind your own business and don't make assumptions on people you know nothing about, please and thanks.

Me telling my parents I'm depressed: my parents, "No, you're just a little stressed and want attention, am I right?" My depression worsening, me: "Yeah, you're totally right mom..." Me in my head making a plan to commit suicide.....

I recently was told by my therapist to stop with the suicide jokes. So I replied with "Don't worry, it will all end soon."

Allan: What are you doing Saturday night?

Museum girl: Committing suicide.

Allan: What about Friday night?

if you ask an artist how to commit suicide, they will say a very creative way

What's the worst thing about committing suicide? You can only do it once.

What's the only regret you would have when you eventually kill yourself? It wasn't sooner.

I’m giving in my two week resignation to life... it’s not you ... it’s me!!!