My brother is ugly one time he stuck his head out the window, the police arrested for mooning
A depressed kid was stuck on a tree, and a man saw the kid
Man: Hang in there! Im gonna get some help!
Two minutes later, the kid literally did what the guy said
RIP Daniel Kyre from Cyndago (July 6, 1994-September 18, 2015)
Daniel commited suicide five years ago today......
My dad still hasn’t come back with the milk. Now we are stuck eating dry cereal.
I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”
Why did Hitler stop playing Golf? He kept getting stuck in the Bunker
Q:There was two tampons walking down the road the other day guess what they said to each other
A:nothing cause they're both stuck up cunts
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They stuck her in a round room and told her to find the penny in the corner.
How did Helen Keller lose her virginity?
I told her the plunger was stuck in the toilet but she didn’t listen...
How did Santa feel when he got stuck in the chimney?
Claus-trophobic
A Man and a Cow are stuck on train tracks and There is a Train in the distance about to hit both of them. A vegan sees this and tries to help. Who does He save, The man or the cow? Neither. He isn't strong enough to lift either of them.
a blond, a red head, and brunette, were stuck on an island, and the closest populated island was 100km away, so in turn they try to swim to the island, the brunette swims 10 km then drowns, the red head swims 30 km then drowns, the blond swims 50 km then gets tired so she swims back.
yo mama so dum she stuck a battery up her butt and said I have the power.
I went for my routine check up last week and everything was going great until the doctor stuck her finger up my butt. Should I look for a new dentist?
Your uncle Jack is stuck on a horse. Will you help Jack off a horse.
used to laugh at Michael Jackson for wearing gloves and a mask.....
Yet here i am, stuck at home in this covid19 Thriller, Beating it.....
Yo mama is so fat she jumped to the air and got stuck
Dont you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin
So there's this uncle of female and male twins, and his sister, the mother of the twins, is stuck trying to think of a name for the children. The uncle says "I've got an idea!", and the mother gets excited, thinking this could be it. She says "What should their names be?" The uncle replies "Well for your daughter, Denise" "That's a nice name" comments the mother, "but what about my son?" The uncle simply replies "Denephew".
A little girl beinng Girl: "Forgive me Father for I have sinned"
Priest: "What did you do Child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "But father he had AIDS!"
Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"
A Man Gets Captured By Cannibals Every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food. Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, "You can kill me or you can eat me, but I'm tired of getting stuck for drinks."
