One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.
What's the difference between a piano, a pot of glue, and a tuna fish?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
What about the glue?
I knew you'd get stuck there.
I went to my girlfriend's house one day in Alabama when I met her brother. He said, "Well, I guess there's no more you stuck in the dryer."
The tortoise was swimming through the lake. His head got stuck in plastic. He said, "Oh dam."
I got something long stuck inside me last night, dammit, that needle hurt.
Pigeons can be annoying at times, especially when their bones get stuck in-between your teeth.
If I was a poo, I’d be the one that gets stuck to the bottom of the shitter when no one wants ya xox.
If you got a bowling ball and you stuck it on top of a sack of potatoes, what would you get?
A "retiree."
Yo momma's so fat, she rolled out the bed, out the room, down the stairs, smashed through the window, rolled down the road, and got stuck in the Grand Canyon.
Your mum's so fat, she fell into the Grand Canyon and got stuck going down.
Time really freezes when you're stuck on a sinking ship.
My wife is so fat! I took her to the Grand Canyon. She fell in and got stuck!
What do youuuuuuuuuuu Oh f***, my mom is gonna kill me! My shit is stuck on the toilet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My wife is so fat. She jumped up in the air and got stuck.
What do you call a nut stuck to a wall?
A walnut.
You're at a buffet, you think you're hungry for two, but misfortune happens when you think of yourself. You get stuck looking at sides in the buffet. A roly poly gal you see in the corner of your eye, eyeballing the main dishes in front at the end. You go in for the pickings, you get intercepted by a far more hungrier matter, but you find yourself getting slammed over the buffet table, and realize you are gasping for air, and she is tenderizing you for dinner.
I pooped in a bottle and stuck my finger through it.
I took some of the boo boo out, licked it, and rubbed it on a wall, making a BOO BOO portal. I jumped into it and I saw BOO BOO LAND. I rolled all in the chunk poop and drank the diarrhea.
I had to go to the doctor for a prostate exam. When he stuck it in, I started to squirm, so he held onto my shoulder.
I thought it was going well, until he grabbed my other shoulder as well.
Why did Alice from Wonderland get her butt stuck in the rabbit hole at first? Because she probably ate too many hamburgers and drank too much wine just out of nowhere, then told her butt to hold it in before more food pops out.
How do I get out of the toilet seat? Help me, please. I'm very stuck!
