Stop Jokes

So, I met a boy, and he said he would be happy to be a cannibal because if we all were, we could stop overpopulation and world hunger. And I was like 😍😍😍😍🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

While I was out shopping, I tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me. For fun, I said, "Sorry! It's been a while since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.

Dads are like boomerangs... I hope!

Son: Dad, why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.

You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.

A boy and girl in high school started dating for a while and things were going so well that the girl decided to invite the boy on a weekend trip. She said, "I want you to come spend the weekend at our lakehouse and meet my parents. While we're there, I'd also like to take our relationship to the next level." "I'm there," the boy replied.

The boy was so excited that he ran straight to the pharmacy to pick up some protection. He walked up to the pharmacist and told him about his weekend to come and said he needed some condoms. The pharmacist asked, "Do you want the 3 pack, 6 pack, or family sized 24 pack?" The boy replied, "I plan on getting busy all weekend. I'm not gonna stop pounding her till I'm black and blue. Give me the family pack." "Sure thing," said the pharmacist.

That weekend the boy went to the lakehouse and the whole family was sitting down at the dinner table to pray. The girl's father asked the boy to say grace. The boy prayed and prayed. Almost ten minutes went by. Finally, the girl leaned over to the boy and said, "You never told me that you were so religious." The boy replied, "You never told me that your dad was a pharmacist."

Mom: Daddy, stop!

Me: No!

Mom: Ok, I just wanted you to do it like your father.

Today when I looked in the mirror, I stopped and simply said: "It's ok, what's inside matters the most, right?"

When I saw this, I couldn’t stop laughing

A screenshot of a comment section. The first comment by Rukulukukukupoopoo says: "I love your wife." The second comment is from George W. Bush and says: "So you're the one I've seen in my garden recently..."

What is the day parents stopped fearing for their little boys? June 25, dead pedo day.

What’s the difference between life and a rape joke?

Life fucks you until you stop breathing; a rape joke fucks you until it’s not funny anymore.

What's the difference between Chris Brown and Santa?

Santa stops at three hoes.

I told an orphan to never stop talking until their parents come home.

Now I can’t get it to shut up.

This Native American won't stop talking bad about me, so I said, "Please stop acting like you first discovered this land belonged to your ancestors!"

🗣: "Stop making suicide jokes!"

"Don't worry bro, I'll end it soon."

Guys, stop making jokes about blind people, they might s... never mind, continue.

If a blonde and a brunette jump off a building, who would hit the ground first?

The brunette, because the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions!

Seeing one of her students making faces at others in the playground, Mrs. Matthews stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, "When I was a child, I was told if I made ugly faces I would stay like that."

The student looked up and replied, "Well, you can’t say you weren’t warned, Mrs. Matthews!"

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.

Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.

My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.