Stop

Stop jokes

Man

  • Did you see that Chinese man with no legs?

    No, I'm blind.

    Stop ruining my jokes.

    Isn't that the Chinese man with no legs' fault?

    It's not like He Go Ann Hi Weh.

  • 1
  • Guy

  • Guys, stop making jokes about blind people, they might s... never mind, continue.

  • 2
  • Land

  • This Native American won't stop talking bad about me, so I said, "Please stop acting like you first discovered this land belonged to your ancestors!"

  • 1
  • Orphan

  • I told an orphan to never stop talking until their parents come home.

    Now I can’t get it to shut up.

  • 0
  • Pope

  • You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?

    You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.

  • 0
  • Apple

  • An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.

    Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.

    My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.

  • 1
  • Grandfather

  • Grandfather's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"

    Grandmother's last words: "You know how to use that hammer."

    Dad's last words: "Always aim before you shoot that gun."

    Mom's last words: "Turn off the stove when you're done."

    My last thought: Am I a murderer?

  • 1
  • Bedtime

  • Joke 1# "Knock, knock." Who's there? "Pastur." Pastur who? "Past ur bedtime."

    Joke 2# Why does a slug always win a race? Because its components always stop for a break.

    Joke 3# Your momma's so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number."

  • 3
  • Phone

  • The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.

    Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.

  • 4
  • Dad

  • Guy 1: Hey, can you stop making 9/11 jokes? My dad died during it.

    Guy 2: Sorry, I will stop. What was your dad?

    Guy 1: The pilot. He saw a KFC and wanted it, so, well, you know.

  • 1
  • Orphan

  • Did you know the F in orphan stands for family... Oh wait, haha.

    We should stop making jokes about orphans before they tell their parents... Oh, continue.

  • 0
  • Orphan

  • "Stop telling these orphan jokes!! Maybe some people that read these are orphans!"

    I'll stop telling orphan jokes when their parents come back.

  • 2