Me and my girlfriend were planning on having sex but I said me and my little brother share a bunk bed and he’s on the bottom. She said tell him we’re making sandwiches so we came up with a plan. Tomato means harder and cheese means faster. So we were having sex and she was screaming tomato tomato tomato cheese cheese cheese, then my little brother said can y’all stop making sandwiches your getting mayonnaise all over my bed.
I recently was told by my therapist to stop with the suicide jokes. So I replied with "Don't worry, it will all end soon"
I’m gonna stop telling rape jokes....
They just seem so forced
Yes the Queen has died today, can the people of the world please finally tell Harry to stop cross dressing as her.
can we stop talking about 911 i lost my dad in it
he was a great pilot
So my sister was eating Now&Laters, and I continuously heard smacking sounds. So I told her can you stop smacking its annoying. Then she said I cant its a juicy type of candy. So I said, I can stop the candies from making that sound. Then she said how? So I smacked her. :)
How do you stop your newspaper from flying away in the wind? -- Use a news anchor.
If you wait for a woman to get 9 months pregnant and kill her, you will never be able to stop the loop.
stop with the orphan jokes. We're running out of orphans to joke about.
Stop complaining. Pediphile Jokes are pretty funny but to say there is over 100 of them only to have repeats of the same joke told by different people is very disappointing.
My doctor is a very attractive woman; gorgeous face, nice boobs, smoking hot body. She said to me, “You are in your 50’s now, you have GOT to stop masturbating.” I asked why. She replied, “Because I’m trying to examine you, ya’ pervert!!!”
What is a type of cancer that:
Affects you Is caused by a device Annoying People won't stop talking about it?
Easy, the answer is Fortnite.
Stop making 911 jokes they don't land so well.
Alright kids! Find a good places to stop! Then, out of the blue, Billy died. But hey, he went to a better place.
What hit the ground first the feather or the depressed kid? The feather, the rope was stopping the kid
One afternoon, a man was walking to a bar after work. Across the street, an Irish nun stood there waving her arms at the man. "Look at this poor drunkard! The Lord does not love him! He will be sent to Hell!" the nun shouted. The man walked over to the nun. "Hey! I had a hard day at work! I was going to get ONE beer! Have you ever even tried a drink before?" the man asked. The nun looked down and shook her head. "Well, if you tried it, you would probably like it! Would you want to try something?" the man asked. The nun replied, "Okay, only one thing." "What would you like?" asked the man. He offered her beer and whiskey, but she declined. "How about a little gin?" the man concluded. "Okay, sure. But, can you ask them to put it in a mug so people don't see what I'm drinking?" asked the nun. "Fine," the man walks into the bar and waves to the bartender. "Hey, can I have a bottle of beer and a bit of gin? Also, can that be in a mug?" asked the man. The bartender looked up, with fury in his eyes. "Don't tell me that damn nun is out there again!" the bartender said.
My boyfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
I'm not lazy, I'm just bone tired. I bet that one tickled your funny bone. It sure got me rattled. Don't try to stop me. I've got a skele-ton of these!
how do you get a black kid to stop jumping on your bed?- put velcro on the ceiling
So I met a boy and he said he would be happy to be a canibal because if we all we we could stop overpopulation and world hunger and I was like😍😍😍😍🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯
