A twin engine has two engines. If one engine stops, the othe will have just enough power to get the plane to the scene of the accident.


Kill your self. Stop thinking whether or not to do it u dumb fucking cunt no one likes you. Jump off a fucking 3 story building bitch.

Kids uncle " your mum said you can have your friends round tonight ! But imma have to baby sit today" . Kid “OK THANK YOU”. (AT BED TIME ) Kid " Please may u stop touching my leg BEN!" Ben “im not " (turns light on ) Kid " UCLEEEEE STOP SPILLING MILK OVER ME !!!”

An ugly man with a gun walks into a bar. He sees a woman, and falls in love with her. Man: Hey, cute lady! Woman: Leave me alone, you ugly two faced man! I already have a boyfriend. Man: Not for long! And then the man shoots the woman’s boyfriend. Woman: How dare you murder such a beautiful man! Man: Now you shall be my girlfriend. Woman: Never. And then the man takes the seat that the woman’s boyfriend was sitting in before. Man: You look like a dream. Woman: Then open up your ugly eyes and stop sleeping, murder. Man: What’s it like being the most beautiful girl in the world, compared to all those ugly woman? Bleuch! Woman: What’s it like being the ugliest mother f***ing murder in the world, compared to all those beautiful men? And then the man orders flowers and candy. Bartender: We don’t serve flowers, or candy. And the man shoots the bartender. Another man can’t believe what he just saw, so he strangles the first man, and throws him out.

(This isnt a joke)

There was a homeless family in need for a room. But, The guy said no more rooms because they were Homeless… So, they got into a barn… And, the mother gave birth to a young healthy boy. And, Before you say anything bad to a homeless man, That little boy was born on December 25th. Guess who it is.



two persons were in a car the brakes were broken and they were so fast that they would crash and die. The driver said:" Oh no! we will die!" but the person sitting next to him replied:" Don’t panic the stop sign at the end of the road will stop us."

What did the grape say to the banana stop graping me.

Two old Indian ladies out picking Potato’s one ladie stops staring at this huge potato turning it round and round . The other old Ladie sais to her what are you doing she sais these potato’s remind me of my ((husbands nuts )) she sais oh my are they really that BIG she said no there that dirty. lololol

How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.

What do you do if your dishwasher stops working? Punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.

bruh bruh the bruh run bruh stop bruh hi bruh

My doctor is a very attractive woman; gorgeous face, nice boobs, smoking hot body. She said to me, “You are in your 50’s now, you have GOT to stop masturbating.” I asked why. She replied, “Because I’m trying to examine you, ya’ pervert!!!”

This is mean af yall need to stop this like wtf what would happen if u all grew up and u was like this like dam

Person: i’d really like it if you’d stop saying my name all the time Random Person: Cheesus! That hurt Person: SERIOUSLY!?!?!

So about a year ago I was riding a horse and out of no where the horse tried to flip me off it and I fell off I would have been OK but my foot got stuck in the stirrup the horse dragged me along and didn’t stop. I would have died if it weren’t for the Walmart manger who came out and unplugged the horse.

How do you know your baby is dead? It stopped screaming after not feeding the bastard for a month.

2 times 4 is 8 now stop fucking asking me

My wife and I were at he park with our little princess today. We decided to go back home, then some jerk had the nerve to shout “Stop those two! They have my daughter!”