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Why did Stephen Hawking and his wife stop playing hide and seek? She kept using a metal detector.

What did the stop sign say to the street sign when he couldn't read a map?

"Can you give me some pointers?"

What’s better than swinging a dead baby in circles over your head with a 5 foot rope?

Stopping it with a shovel.

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    • After the shooting, people were asking why they would do it.

    They wanted to stop but it turns out they were playing an online game.

    I followed the sun for a day (stood there at noon). I found myself at the same spot.

    A pregnant woman enters the hospital with her concerned husband. As she goes into labor, a group of doctors asked him if he would like to try a device that transfers your spouse's pain to the father's nervous system.

    He agrees and the doctors turn the dial on the device to 10%. Strangely, the man felt little pain. They continued to adjust the dial until it stopped at 100%, yet the man felt nothing. Later on, the wife had delivered the baby and the pair left the hospital with a healthy baby only to find the milkman laying on their stairs with a puddle of blood around his head, shaking uncontrollably.

    There was a guy called Manners, one called Poo, and one called Shut Up.

    One day, Manners was on his way to pick up Poo from school. A police officer stopped Shut Up and said:

    Police: "What’s you name?"

    Shut Up: "Shut Up."

    Police: "Where's your manners?!"

    Shut Up: "Picking up Poo."

    My girlfriend told me to stop playing Pokemon as it was childish.

    I started thrashing about and roared, “You don’t have enough badges to control me!”