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Stop jokes

I thought my wife was joking when she said she was gonna leave me because I wouldn’t stop singing “I'm a believer,” but then I saw her face.

Why did Stephen Hawking and his wife stop playing hide and seek? She kept using a metal detector.

What did the stop sign say to the street sign when he couldn't read a map?

"Can you give me some pointers?"

What’s better than swinging a dead baby in circles over your head with a 5 foot rope?

Stopping it with a shovel.

After the shooting, people were asking why they would do it.

They wanted to stop but it turns out they were playing an online game.

I followed the sun for a day (stood there at noon). I found myself at the same spot.

A pregnant woman enters the hospital with her concerned husband. As she goes into labor, a group of doctors asked him if he would like to try a device that transfers your spouse's pain to the father's nervous system.

He agrees and the doctors turn the dial on the device to 10%. Strangely, the man felt little pain. They continued to adjust the dial until it stopped at 100%, yet the man felt nothing. Later on, the wife had delivered the baby and the pair left the hospital with a healthy baby only to find the milkman laying on their stairs with a puddle of blood around his head, shaking uncontrollably.