Me: Sister, stop stealing my stuff or I will make you feel bad.
Sister: No, I won't stop.
Me: Fine, I'm telling the world what you did.
Sister: What? You will see when I post it.
Sister: WHY DID YOU TELL THEM I PEED ON SANTA CLAUS WHEN I WAS 12 YEARS OLD?
Me: BECAUSE YOU DON ́T HAVE A LIFE.
My sister says, "Dad," and repeats it, and this is my dad: WOULD U STOP me? 😑
I was at a friend's place yesterday, and... There was a mother, father, three sons, and a daughter.
That night the mother and father started fucking each other. I yelled and told them there are innocent children in this house.
An hour later, they started up again. I walked to their room and they were asleep, so I looked in the brothers' room and all three brothers were fucking the sister.
I sighed at this. "Incest aside, you guys make a cute family." I started, "So Anna, when am I gonna have nieces and nephews?" They stopped instantly and went to sleep. "Thank you," I replied before walking back to my room they let me sleep in and I passed out for the rest of the night.
I think I gave you the coronavirus because I can't stop staring, a-choo!
Stop making moo jokes, they're so annoying!
An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him.
What is his one liner? "I told you to stop running or you will get tired."
How do you know when you should tell a heterosexual woman to stop sucking your dick?
When there is blood coming out of your dick instead of sperm.
How do you stop a heterosexual woman from sucking your dick? piss inside her mouth
Mom: You can't die in the living room, David, so you can stop stabbing and shooting yourself.
David: I will surpass Kakarot!
Jordan: *dead on the living room floor*
*World War 2 going on and then stops.*
Me: "I guess you would say it was a gory-ious battle."
What is the difference between giving money to a church and giving money to the IRS?
If you stop giving money to a church, you won't go to prison.
Me and my friend roasting each other.
Friend: You look like a baboon.
Me: Stop talking, you look like a gorilla, so I might call animal control on you and I'll be seeing you at the zoo!
Why did the United Nations stop the French government from using the guillotine in public?
Because the French government was using the guillotine on newborn babies for circumcision.
Two lions plan their escape from the circus. The night they get out of their cages, they see a lone clown stumbling back from town, drunk, not a soul in sight. Since they are going on the run, they decide to catch one last meal before they hit the road.
As one lion gets a bite of leg, the second takes a piece of shoulder.
Then one stops and asks his companion:
"Does this taste funny to you?"
When you end up pregnant...
Mom told me if a boy touched my breast I should say "DON'T," and if he touched me down there I should say "STOP." But Dad, he touched me both places at once so I said, "DON'T STOP! DON'T STOP!" 😂
If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree, which will hit the ground first?
The piece of paper because the rope will stop the emo.
Earlier that day...
Mars: Okay Venus, you need to stop with the puns.
Mission on space.
Mars: Moon? You okay?
Moon:...
Mars: Moon come on! Stop spacing out!
*Venus and Moon giving her the smirk*
Time for you to stop looking at jokes on worstjokesever.com and go to bed!
Covid 19 stopped mass shootings faster than the Government.
What is the difference between a pornstar and a mosquito?
No one stops sucking.
Say yes if you wanna fuck.
