Two lions plan their escape from the circus. The night they get out of their cages, they see a lone clown stumbling back from town, drunk, not a soul in sight. Since they are going on the run, they decide to catch one last meal before they hit the road.
As one lion gets a bite of leg, the second takes a piece of shoulder.
Then one stops and asks his companion:
"Does this taste funny to you?"
When you end up pregnant...
Mom told me if a boy touched my breast I should say "DON'T," and if he touched me down there I should say "STOP." But Dad, he touched me both places at once so I said, "DON'T STOP! DON'T STOP!" đ
If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree, which will hit the ground first?
The piece of paper because the rope will stop the emo.
Earlier that day...
Mars: Okay Venus, you need to stop with the puns.
Mission on space.
Mars: Moon? You okay?
Moon:...
Mars: Moon come on! Stop spacing out!
*Venus and Moon giving her the smirk*
Time for you to stop looking at jokes on worstjokesever.com and go to bed!
Covid 19 stopped mass shootings faster than the Government.
What is the difference between a pornstar and a mosquito?
No one stops sucking.
Say yes if you wanna fuck.
No more toilet paper jokes, please.
Why did the hobo go back to the future?
To stop himself from wasting all his money on a rigged casino machine.
What runs but never stops?
Down syndrome kid: Stop being greedy with the Legos! Me: Stop being greedy with the chromosomes!
Trump and two of his friends are stranded on an island with no internet connection and no way of getting home. As they frantically run around the island trying to get a signal so Trump can call his private helicopter to come and pick them up, Trumpâs wig falls off and lands on a magical lamp, from which suddenly appears a genie. As Trump replaces his wig, the genie announces that he will grant each man one wish for freeing him.
The men stop to confer. The first one says he will wish for a plane to rescue him, the second wishes for a boat to rescue him and they tell Trump to wish for a helicopter to rescue him. Trump, being Trump, nods and says yes, but he wasnât really listening. Then they approach the genie. The first one of Trumpâs friends wishes for a plane to rescue him, as agreed. The second one of Trumpâs friends wishes for a boat to rescue him, as agreed. Then Trump is left all alone, but instead of wishing for a helicopter to rescue him, as agreed, he says, âAww, Iâm lonely now. I wish both my friends were here with me!â
Why doesn't George Washington carry his ID?
Because he knows he can always ask for a quarter.
So, today is my birthday. Today, I am 13, but yesterday I am going to turn 10. But I am not even going to school to know the number ten, because one time at 10 p.m. in the morning it was so cold in my hot room, so I went outside to drive my car. But I stopped because the light turned green. I was taking a bath in the front of my car, and it didnât have a bin, so I am taking a sh$t.
Stop.
Run, or something will come to you, and you will be afraid to tell it to stop following you.
Best way to stop a fight between deaf people?
Just turn off the lights.
Please stop using this thread. It is cancer.
Me: Knock, knock.
Teacher: Who is there?
Me: Boo.
Teacher: Boo who?
Me: Stop being a crybaby and open the door!
Teacher: ......
Me: Aw man, detention again.
All the traffic stopping the cars, how do you spell that without any Râs?
That.
