Somebody stole my joke.
So I stole their spinal cord.
Stole Jokes
Two atoms were walking on a street. One atom said to the other: "I'm feeling really positive today," and the other replied: "I know. I stole your electron." Then the first atom said "How Ionic."
To whomever stole my anti-depression pills, I hope you're happy now.
In the new Grinch, the Whos would say he stole Christmas, "Get him!" Then the Grinch said, "I'm an orphan!" That changes everything. The Whos said, "What would they do if Max was an orphan?"
Things said by racist aliens:
"Some of my best friends are Green."
"I just know that Orange guy stole my spaceship."
"You're very pretty for a Purple girl."
"We know you Tentacletians like to rape everyone with your tentacles!"
"Adax Hitao should have finished off you Bluish people."
"You 2-headed people are so stupid!"
"No Slimatians are allowed in this restaurant because of health codes."
"Get out of my store you grigger!"
"The Plu Plux Plum meeting is tonight! Let's burn some spaceships on the Greenies' lawns!"
To whoever stole my antidepressants, I hope you are happy now.
A bully walks up to a kid named Billy to insult him and steal his lunch money.
Later that night when he is at home, the bully’s father comes into his room to insult him and take the lunch money he stole.
The father walks down stair to check on his father in the living room. When he walks in, his father insults him and takes the lunch money.
The grandfather of the bully walks into the back yard and in the dark is Billy. The grandfather walks up to him and says “Where’s my money, you worthless old fart?”
Man: What's up?
Me: I'm annoyed.
Man: Why?
Me: I stole my gf's heart.
Man: So why are you annoyed?
Me: Everyone else in the surgery room gave me weird looks.
The other day someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.
I would create an orphan website...
But you need a home page to do that.
(Since somebody stole this joke before) 🤷♀️
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket, "You can hide but you can't run."
Why did the vegetable go to jail?
He kaled a man and stole a 9-carat gold bar.
Why did the baseball player go to jail?
Because he stole first base.
Did you hear about the man who stole a calendar?
He got 12 months.
Worst joke ever.
A man walks into his house, only to find out somebody stole all of his lamps. He was absolutely delighted.
What's the difference between cancer and me?
My dad didn't beat cancer... Whelp, I guess I stole that one.
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket: you can hide, but you can’t run.
Did you hear about the two burglars that stole a calendar?
I hear they got six months each.
Yo mamma so stupid when a robber stole her TV, she ran after him saying, "You forgot the remote!"
My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.
But I knew she’d come crawling back to me.
