I know this girl, Kamelah. She say, "What are you looking at?" I said, "I’m just tryna figure out why it look like Santa stole your hairline."
Did you guys know that Chancellor Palpatine is suing Nike?
Apparently, the company stole his slogan: Just "Do It."
To whoever stole my antidepressants, why do you need them?
The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.
Once when I was 6, I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree.
Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl!
Wow, he stole my antidepressant toy. The next day, he was on the ground.
Whoever stole my Microsoft Office account, I'll make you pay. You have my word!
I did this to my ex. I stole her wheelchair. I knew she would come crawling back.
A guy stole my car last night. Before dialing 911 I thought, "Fuck it. Let him explain the dead bodies in the trunk."
What do a stool and an emo have in common?
They both sit still.
Why did McDonald’s kill somebody because they stole the 12-piece nuggets that will never be seen because of them!
The Egyptian god of sun's name is Ka.
My friend: Where does the sun god go to get a shoe?
Me: In a Ka-boot sale :D
Friend: What would happen when someone stole the shoe?
Me: Call The Police Ka!!!
Whoever stole my anti-depression medications, I hope you're happy!
My willy was feeling itchy, so I decided to go to the doctor.
My doctor was foreign and spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. As I returned home, I noticed my willy was gone! Pessi stole my PENis thinking it was a Penalty just so he could statpad. SHAME ON YOU!
I broke up with my boyfriend and stole his wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back?
Why was the emo person dead inside?
Because I stole their insides.
POV: Someone stole Michael Jackson's baby: "He he stole my bab(y), he he."
Why do orphans hate Batman the movie?
Because at least he gets noticed by people, and also he stole their life story!
To the guy in a wheelchair who stole my camouflage coat: you can hide, but you can't run.
I've recently been treated with Asthma and have been prescribed penicillin. One day I was taking it and a man screaming "SUIII" came into the room and stole it! He thought the penicillin would give him penalties. I couldn't breathe, shame on you Penaldo for ruining my life!
