When I was little, I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike. I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead I just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.
But I knew she'd come crawling back to me.
My boyfriend came over today and stole my milk. How dairy.
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you... You have my Word.
To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket... You can hide, but you can't run.
