New Still Jokes - Page 31 - Worst Jokes Ever

Q: How do you know when an Asian broke into your house?

A: Your math homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and 2 hours later he's still trying to back out of the driveway.

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, there are 69 in my basement, and it's still dark.

Q. How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A. Gotta be more than 9 'cause my basement is still dark.

I'm still playing hide & seek with my dad.

There was a race between Lettuce, a faucet, and Ketchup. The lettuce was a-head, the faucet was still running, and the ketchup was trying to ketchup.

What's the grossest thing ever?

A bag of dead babies.

What's even more gross?

The bottom one is still wriggling!

Me: God, Bryce, do we really have to talk about this again?

Bryce: What?

Me: You're still talking shit!! I already told you! It's 9 inches! Stop saying it's 3!

P.S. I'm a girl.

My boyfriend is just like a sexy nerd and I still have to ask him things like that because I'm so distracted from him.

A guy goes to the store to buy thyme.

When he got back to put the thyme away he realized he still had thyme left. This was all for nothing, it was just a big waste of your thyme.

My girlfriend broke up with me today, but it’s ok.

She said we can still be cousins.

Wanna hear a construction joke?

Nah, I'm still working on it.

I bought my son an Xbox in 2017. It’s now 2018, and I’m still waiting for him to open it.

I started a band called 999 megabytes... we still haven't gotten a gig.

How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?

Must be more than 9, my basement is still dark!

You should never leave a man hanging.

Unless they are still alive.

If 4 birds are sitting on a fence and one gets shot, how many are still on the fence?

None, the rest fly away.

A man walks into a bar. He takes a seat and asks the barman if he wanted to hear a blonde joke. The barman replies, "Before you tell this joke, I want to tell you something. See the woman over there? She is a black belt in karate, she's blonde. See the bouncer over there? He is also a blonde. See the chick over there with that pool cue? She is also blonde. Also, I have a shotgun behind the bar. I'm blonde. So do you still want to tell your joke?" He replies, "F**k that. I ain't explaining the joke 4 times."